The Oscars Edition!
And: How does Poor Things have a 92%?!?
Get your opinion wheels spinning; it’s Oscars time! We’re doing a rundown of each of the biggest films and what to know going into Sunday night. Or, scroll to the end for my morally outraged prudish review about Poor Things!
Well, folks, the Oscars are upon us. On Sunday at 7pm Eastern, the royal elite of Hollywood will be gathered to give each other trophies. For those of us who shop at Target and still sometimes dabble in milk products [plebeians], it is a chance to peer into the glitz and glamour of the rich and famous — and to cast upon them our judgments!
If you’re anything like me, you will be seated [in your Stars Above™️ pajama leggings] for the spectacle! As a kid, the first Oscars I stayed up for was in 2002 when The Fellowship of the Ring had been nominated. I came for Frodo Baggins but left mesmerized, entranced, enchanted by the vanity! The dresses! The skincare! The performances! The film clips! The music!
I was hooked. Now the Oscars are an event on my annual holiday calendar.
SO: Let’s hear your Oscars opinions! Do you love them? Hate them? Who are your should-wins vs. will-wins? What’s the hottest take you’ve heard — or said — about these Oscars? [Give Best Picture to Guardians of the Galaxy 3? Best Actor should be the dog from Anatomy of a Fall? The Best Director goes to everyone making TikToks of their grandparents? I don’t know! You tell me!!]
Breaking Down the 2024 Oscars
If you’ve been too busy to catch up on all the big Oscar-buzz movies, I’m happy to tell you that I have my priorities straight and watched them all!1
Today, we’re doing a quick refresh on the ones nominated in the “Big Six” categories — Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Supporting Actress — a quick gut-check review and a rundown of should-wins and will-wins, picked by me.
By the way, not to be a total homer, but the New York Times has a handy “Print Your Oscars Ballot” for anyone interested in turning a relaxing Sunday night into a battle for pride and prizes!! [Your friend-who-turned-Settlers-of-Catan-into-a-blood-sport’s hand just shot up in the air.]
There’s always at least one big surprise. Could Bradley Cooper actually get his Oscar, a thing he allegedly doesn’t want as much as an Eagle’s Super Bowl win [but that is obviously a lie]? Lol, probably not! Let’s get into it….
American Fiction
Five Nominations: Best Picture, Best Actor (Jeffrey Wright), Best Supporting Actor (Sterling K. Brown), Adapted Screenplay, Original Score
Review in 50 words: This excellent movie was a bit messier than I expected and attempts maybe too much, but largely succeeds with a barbed wit that was often laugh-out-loud funny while edged with sorrow. It’s kind and cruel in turns, with magnificent performances from the cast.
Outlook: I don’t expect it to win Best Picture or Best Actor, but it’s extremely watchable! Jeffrey Wright is one of our most dynamic actors! I didn’t get the hype on Sterling K. Brown in this; he is giving “actor in a Broadway show” energy!
Anatomy of a Fall
Five Nominations: Best Picture, Best Director (Justine Triet), Best Actress (Sandra Hüller), Original Screenplay, Editing
Review in 50 words: A lot of people DON’T like this movie. [And act like they’re sooo brave to say it.] I’m first to admit that I don’t always love French films; they expect us to hang with slow plots and unlikeable characters. And, yes, this is slow! And the characters unlikeable! But…I…was kind of riveted?! It felt like a true crime documentary on HBO—with a literary bent.
Outlook: Won’t and shouldn’t win Best Picture or Best Director, but I’m glad it was nominated.
Barbie
Eight Nominations: Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor (Ryan Gosling), Best Supporting Actress (America Ferrara), Adapted Screenplay, Production Design, Costume Design, two for Original Song (“I’m Just Ken” and “What Was I Made For?”)
Review in 50+ words: Such a fun, delightful, meaningful movie, even though the messaging didn’t land as well for me as it did for others. The most talked-about thing is Greta Gerwig not getting a Best Director nom and Margot Robbie not getting a Best Actress nom. I would’ve been happy to see Greta take Jonathan Glazer’s spot [for no aesthetic reason other than Glazer films make me feel like I ate bad seafood] and Margot take Annette Bening’s. But that’s not the world we live in! Sometimes Breads is sold out of chocolate babka, folks — we can’t always have what we want!
Outlook: I think Barbie should win for Production Design and maybe Costume, too.
The Holdovers
Five Nominations: Best Picture, Best Actor (Paul Giamatti), Best Supporting Actress (Da’Vine Joy Randolph), Original Screenplay, Editing
Review in 50 words: This was a well-crafted nostalgia film that feels like sipping a warm drink in front of a fire. Supremely rewatchable! It reminds me of those indie-ish movies from the 90s that starred Matt Damon or Leo or any pixie-nosed white boy. Movies that were sincere in saying we all need each other and we love an Ivy League.
Outlook: I loved this movie, even though I wouldn’t pick it for Best Picture. Da’Vine WILL win!
Killers of the Flower Moon
10 Nominations: Best Picture, Best Director (Martin Scorsese), Best Actress (Lily Gladstone), Best Supporting Actor (Robert De Niro), Production Design, Costume Design, Cinematography, Editing [lol], Original Score, Original Song (“Wahzhazhe (A Song For My People)”)
Review in 50 words: Was this movie an artistic, cinematic, and technical achievement? Indubitably! Was it indulgently long to the point it almost felt narratively lost and also a little bit rude to its audience? Big time! I’m sorry, but editing matters, even for a mind-boggling accomplishment.
Outlook: Lily Gladstone should win and will win for having a part that did so “little,” yet carried the whole film on her shoulders/in her eyes.
Maestro
Seven Nominations: Best Picture, Best Actor (Bradley Cooper), Best Actress (Carey Mulligan), Original Screenplay, Cinematography, Makeup and Hairstyling, Sound
Review in 50 words: This movie was kind of a mess, and most people think Bradley Cooper is trying way too hard to win an Oscar. But…I had a fabulous time! I wanted to live in those try-hard aesthetics. I cried! I started listening to Leonard Bernstein's music — and what higher praise can you give a biopic, really? It kind of didn’t make sense but I enjoyed it.
Outlook: Might win for Makeup & Hairstyling or something, but Bradley probably won’t get his big Oscar because, like I said, kind of a mess. Carey Mulligan, though! Chef’s KISS!
Oppenheimer
13 Nominations: Best Picture, Best Director (Christopher Nolan), Best Actor (Cillian Murphy), Best Supporting Actress (Emily Blunt), Best Supporting Actor (Robert Downey Jr.), Adapted Screenplay, Production Design, Costume Design, Cinematography, Editing, Makeup and Hairstyling, Sound, Original Score
Review in 50(+) words: Surprise! I love this movie now! lol. When I first watched it, I thought it was narratively sloppy, I hated the way they treated Florence Pugh as basically “a chance to see some titties,” and I felt like it was an hour too long. Then I rewatched it and had the time of my life!! I still think all those same things, but I relaxed into the fact it’s an entertaining movie about petty, dramatic scientists, with a magnetic and gorgeous lead in Cillian Murphy and slam-dunk performances from everyone else — plus some important [though distressingly downplayed] questions about atomic power.
[Still too long, though! (She says blithely as she rolls on past 1,500 words.)]
Outlook: This movie is gonna win everything! I think the over-under for [illegal] betting on this is 8 or 8.5 total trophies. I say under 8.5, though.
Past Lives
Two Nominations: Best Picture and Original Screenplay
Review in 50 words: I had towering expectations going into this movie and was slightly disappointed. People were talking about it like it was the Second Coming! It’s more like we saved a seat for Elijah, and he took years to show up, and we were kind of moved on by then. [I jest; sort of.] But it grew on me afterward because it’s so rich in the sense it’s what life is like; it captures in an intimate way the insecurities and existential questions that bubble beneath the surface in all of us. I also cried, as per usual.
Outlook: I’d be happy to see it win screenplay, but I think I’d prefer May December there. [May December was ROBBED!!!! That movie was a BAD TRIP in the BEST WAY!!!] I wish Greta Lee had been nominated for Best Actress.
Poor Things
11 Nominations: Best Picture, Best Director (Yorgos Lanthimos), Best Actress (Emma Stone), Best Supporting Actor (Mark Ruffalo), Adapted Screenplay, Production Design, Costume Design, Cinematography, Editing, Makeup and Hairstyling, Original Score.
Full review below.
Outlook: Will probably win some of the craft categories, like production design, costume design, makeup and hairstyling, etc. Emma Stone might win, but I would be shocked simply because Lily Gladstone seems to have it locked up.
The Zone of Interest
5 Nominations: Best Picture, Best Director (Jonathan Glazer), Adapted Screenplay, Sound, International Feature (United Kingdom).
This is the only Best Picture-nominated film that I did not watch — for reasons that this director gives me hives. It’s a deeply important, if devastating, concept: A Nazi commandant and his wife building their dream home right outside Auschwitz. Yikes. I know that this movie should be nauseating, and it’s important that it is, but I can’t handle this director’s style.
And that’s all for the Oscars! If you came here for my rant about Poor Things, you’ve finally made it to the right spot! Scroll on. If you came just for the Oscars content, please drop a comment or a heart and let me know your thoughts!
A long and rambling postscript: How is Poor Things so beloved???
I feel 100% confident that in 15 years — perhaps sooner — we will collectively be asking, “How did this get made??”
Caveat for fairness: It’s possible I’ve dug my heels in more deeply on this position because everyone loves the movie so much. And, to be fair to those who do love it, Emma Stone is incredible in this role and Mark Ruffalo is surprising and hilarious. Also, I don’t generally vibe with this director. His whole thing is kind of, “Look at the nasty little freaks playing in their vomit!” [I’m not even being figurative; watch The Favourite.] Shock value has its place in art, but Yorgos Lanthimos, in my opinion, uses shock value to cover up the fact he doesn’t have a whole lot to say. [Though he’s wildly imaginative!]
Poor Things is easily his most watchable movie — the world, the costumes, Ruffalo and Stone — they’re all very whimsical once you get the hang of how weird it is. But ultimately, I thought it was saying one thing [Female empowerment!] and doing another [Sexualizing a person with a toddler’s brain! I WISH that was figurative!].
In the words of my friend Monica, “Poor Things is essentially a pedo-fetish film masquerading as a celebration of female sexual empowerment.”
I don’t know where I fall on the prude scale2, but it does not allow for this! Slight spoilers: Poor Things is about a woman who dies and gets Frankensteined back to life with her own unborn baby’s brain. Then it’s about her discovering the world with a woman’s body and a baby’s quickly developing brain. Presumably, she sees the world as we should see it, without the damaging social constructs, power dynamics, and oppressive institutional rules.
Which, sure, I guess. But, to get really explicit here, it’s all just men having sex with an underage girl. It’s grooming at BEST. A sentence I never thought I’d say. She is AT MOST like 12 in her brain when she starts having sex with grown men? But also, she’s still moving and walking like a toddler, so, like—WHAT!? And they don’t act like this is particularly predatory, at least not until the men start getting possessive.
I know I’m being really literal here, and I know that a literal reading of an artistic text is the first step into capital-F Fundamentalism, and I’m starting to sound like I believe in lizard people, but I promise I don’t! I just think it’s thematically shallow and male-coded, like eye-roll a million times a man thinks this is empowerment???
Anyways, I’m probably pruding out too hard on this.
Sure, I love to see a female character pushing against social norms, and it's subversive and rah-rah...but it also really oversimplifies female sexuality and the dangers women face and the subtle ways women get abused, controlled, and exploited. Even if you disagree with me on the sex stuff, there’s not much going on in terms of ideas in this film. This NYT review said it well: “Its design is rich, its ideas thin.”3
And on that note, Happy Daylight Savings! I hope you can sleep after reading that! I’d love to hear your thoughts on Poor Things, and no, I DON’T think you’re a bad person if you like it. I assume you saw it differently and I’m open to hear it.
Except for The Zone of Interest [no thank you], Rustin [I heard it was an uneven movie but that Colman Domingo is incredible; if his red carpet fashion is any indication, he ate that role up], NYAD [boring?], and The Color Purple [I’m on record about musicals as movies: Not my vibe.]
I’m at: Katy Perry’s butt-crack dress was intriguing to me, but also I did not know what to do with it, anthropologically.
Instead of that, this: May December, a REAL movie about exploitation and predators and how we can all become complicit in objectifying and stunting the soul of a child. Yeah, it’s dark. But also bizarrely funny and clever.
Hannah,
Thanks for continuing with your blog alongside your blessing of journalistic employment...a rare thing these days and a testimony to your talent. For me, this edition is your new zenith. You're confident and insightful, and whimsical. You are true to you. Keep going. We're relying on your insights!