A Bear at the Olympics, White Lotus, and Fashion @ Cannes

What I'm Reading, Watching, & Listening To This Week

This week’s plot twist in the VanWag home is a broken AC in yet another heatwave! Not only did the AC give up the ghost in protest of the unseasonable heat, but it left a parting gift by leaking all over the entryway leaving giant clumps of goo in puddles on the floor! What’s that slimy shit the ghosts leave behind in Ghostbusters? Ectoplasm!! [Okay, it was drywall, but emotionally it was the slime of departed souls.]

It appears we’re not the only people in the Greater New York Area with AC issues because the repairman can’t come for six days on account of he is so booked up with the innumerable consequences of climate change.

Despite my [honestly very relative and minimal] distress, I still managed to wipe the ectoplasm from my face and consume some content. Here are the notable topics this week—feel free to skim through and land on the topics of interest to you!

In the News

• A bear is terrorizing the Olympics and they’re trying to get rid of it by playing loud music. Thank you to this bear for this headline. [Also “terrorizing” is fake news, I retract my statement, it’s just bumbling around as bears do.]

• The Devil Wears Prada cast is reuniting for charity and the winner of the auction GETS TO ZOOM WITH THEM. ~*~Meryl Streep~*~Stanley Tucci~*~Emily Blunt~*~Anne Hathaway~*~ [Fine Print: It’s only 10 minutes long, which means they’ll only have time for “Wait, sorry, let me figure out why my video isn’t working” and “Meryl, you’re on mute!”]

• You can audition for a Pride & Prejudice-themed dating show. 15-year-old me would leave Ben for this. You’re welcome.

Watching — White Lotus on HBO

If you love a dark prestige comedy that makes you want to die of secondhand embarrassment and the deeply unsettling discomfort of our shared human folly, THIS SHOW IS FOR YOU.

If you ever thought — “I want to see Tammy Taylor but rich and vicious” — or — “Give me Steve Zahn as a chatty lunkheaded dad awkwardly attempting to bond with his sullen teenage son” — or — “I want to watch Euphoria but with fewer teens and only one purseful of drugs” — or — “Give Jennifer Coolidge an Emmy!” — THIS SHOW IS FOR YOU.

It’s set at the luxury White Lotus hotel in Hawaii and follows various uber-wealthy [and unhappy] guests and the hotel staff, a much more diverse mix of characters including Insecure’s Natasha Rothwell as a sublimely practical masseuse, an uptight Australian maître d’, and a native Hawaiian trainee on her first day. It’s Succession meets Upstairs Downstairs but set on a five-star Hawaiian vacation.

The actors are batting 1,000, throwing absolute smoke, and it’s a joy to watch. Here’s a beautiful review in the New York Times. [Note for the kids: this is probs not for the kids.]

Listening — “The 2020* Olympics“ by Vox

This morning is the Opening Ceremonies of the Most Fraught Olympics of All Time [minus the Nazi one]. Also, you can watch on NBC primetime tonight, which I am doing off the record since on the record we’re against these Olympics.

I am now a complete duality:

1. The Olympics are my favorite thing in the world. When explaining BTS to my mom, I once enthused, “THEY’RE LIKE THE OLYMPICS!!!!!!!!!!!”

2. I don’t think these Olympics should be happening (even though that’s awful for the athletes), and I’m not sure any Olympics should happen until serious reforms take place.

Even if you lift out this year’s problem of spreading a deadly virus, the Olympics remain deeply problematic. The International Olympic Committee averts its eyes from a system that turns out to be: enriching a few elites at the expense of the poor, displacing thousands of people, exploiting developing nations’ resources, and committing actual human rights violations.

In this May episode of Vox’s podcast Today Explained, they go into some of the history here and what we might need to do to change the Olympics. Can we just fix it so we can all go back to being happy and celebrating the one time things are nice in the world????

Sorry to be such a DEBBIE DOWNER.

Looking At — Cannes Fashion

I need someone with insider scoops to tell me if Cannes is always like this or if we have just forgotten how to dress in the past 17 months of plague. Because the fashion at Cannes is everything from “Your Uncle on His Retirement Trip to Cancun” to “It’s Cold Backstage at Your Ballet Recital” to “The Met Gala Called and Wants its Weird Jewelry Vibes Back.” Seriously, the fashion runs a gamut I would not have believed possible — and here are my favorites, from the “Woke up like this” to the “Literally I just woke up.”

• See a slideshow here.

• See my favorite “Scrooge’s Nightgown on Christmas Morning” lewk.

• See every outfit worn at Cannes by the Most Beautiful Person in the Entire World. [Should we start wearing two sparkles under each eye now???? YES WE SHOULD.]

• And of course, the meme that’s taking over the internet.

Reading:

• Tapping Into the Brain to Help a Paralyzed Man Speak - New York Times

• Marvel Villains, Ranked by Hotness - Vulture

• His Name Was Emmett Till - The Atlantic (NOTE: a million trigger warnings for violence and racism)