*Brushing Up on My Alien Preparedness*

Plus: They Cloned Tyrone, X-Files, and the new(ish) Black Mirror

^singing Mary J. Blige with your tiny golden gun as a microphone is my kind of apocalypse preparedness! (screenshot: They Cloned Tyrone)

There I was, enjoying a nice week in Chicago of dining, baseball, and watching reruns from a hotel bed. Next thing I know, I have a bad head cold, and the government admits aliens exist!

Just a casual Wednesday in Summer 2023!

As I am currently in the Stage of Head Cold where my sinuses have transformed into the inside of a Milk Dud and I just had to ask Ben “the word for the government thingy” [Congress], I’m gonna get straight to our topics!

This week’s theme is fueled by Wednesday’s UFO Hearings, which can be reduced to the simple chilling phrase “nonhuman biologics.” In response, I have launched myself wholeheartedly into what I call: “Twilight-Zone-y TV.” Shows and movies that explore “Unexplained Phenomena” and Coverups at the Highest Level.

This week, it’s been:

• Netflix’s new dark comedy thriller They Cloned Tyrone

• Revisiting The X-Files

• The new season of Black Mirror (+ all-time best and worst episodes)

I’d love to know: 1) Do you enjoy Twilight-Zone-y TV? It’s quite an acquired taste! 2) What are your favorites, whether you like the genre in general or not?

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In the News - Aliens, duh!

Wellp, kids, it’s finally here. Military intelligence officials revealed in a surprisingly bipartisan congressional hearing that they know we have possession of aircraft and “biologics” of nonhuman origin. [Aliens? Interdimensional beings?]

Do I believe that intelligent life exists beyond the boundaries of our planet/known dimensions? I depend on it! But the part that’s hard for me to reckon with is the idea that governments have allegedly kept this hidden for DECADES?! In the words of Dana Scully in The X-Files:

“I think you give the government too much credit. I mean the government can’t control a deficit or manage crime. What makes you think they can plan and execute such an elaborate conspiracy?”

I put this point to Ben and he said, “Who’s saying they did a good job covering it up? They literally just told us there’s aliens, and people don’t want to believe it.” Ben the Cynic strikes again!

Still, the narrative dissonance of hearing “interdimensional beings” discussed in the same chamber where Mark Zuckerberg had to explain the internet a mere two years ago!? This isn’t Sydney Bristow’s Alliance of Twelve; it’s Joe Biden’s Congress, no offense!

Anyhoo. The Pentagon, for its part, is holding the party line and basically saying, “We have no idea what you guys are talking about, and we have never done any murders ever.”

So, obviously, I’d like to hear from you! Do you believe? 👽

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Watching: They Cloned Tyrone on Netflix

Let me first be clear that this movie AIN’T FOR KIDS. It’s also not for you if you don’t enjoy nonstop profanity, guns, pimps, drugs, and sexual references. THAT SAID… If you are of the generation raised by Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie, please stand up! This review is for you…

This movie is the funnest! It’s whip-smart, hilarious, stylish, perfectly acted — a d*mn good time. You can’t look down at your phone for a second because you’ll miss like five hilarious lines in the two seconds it took to see who texted you.

It’s a mashup of thriller/sci-fi/conspiracy/buddy comedy all in one. It doesn’t hit all its notes perfectly, but the performances carry you through the muddier bits. And yes, there’s even a larger point to all the drugs, profanity, etc.

John Boyega, Teyonah Parris [who you might recognize from WandaVision], and Jamie Foxx build the perfect threesome, playing off each other’s energies to keep the wheel rolling and the dialogue sparkling. Parris, in particular, was the showstopper.

“Nancy Drew ain’t got shit on me!”

The X-Files on Freevee

You might describe me as a “joiner.” I love to join things; even more, I love to get swept up into a thing! Even if that thing is pretending to like camping my junior year of college — or aliens! I would definitely be among those doomed partiers dancing on that rooftop in Independence Day.

But I also like to feel prepared. So, in the spirit of joining and preparing, I heard about the aliens on Wednesday and started rewatching The X-Files on Thursday. [Going straight to my primary sources like a good little debate club graduate.]

I first binged The X-Files in the liminal space after graduating college and breaking up with a boyfriend. Returning to it has not disappointed me, unlike many men!

Season 1 is DELICIOUSLY ‘90s. Corny and earnest and super creepy and weird. Later seasons get a little prettier, a little more big-budget, and better, but the ideas in Season 1 are so fresh.

My biggest takeaway? Aliens are not the worst thing that could happen, folks! Have you thought about ancient radioactive insects? Or vindictive AI? [OK I guess we’re 1-1 on those.]

Black Mirror: Season 6 on Netflix

Ben and I were religious Black Mirror watchers when it first hit Netflix in 2016. The newest season, featuring just five episodes and released in June, did not live up to my expectations. Some of it was fine.

Previous seasons explored how technology could bring out the worst in us as human beings. They pointed out scary things that could happen to us, but they also often forced self-reflection — the scary things that are already in us.

The new season…didn’t totally work for me? A couple were too gruesome without enough to say. The others were just not saying anything all that new. The fifth one was my favorite, but it was intended to be—and felt like—a different show.

My favorite Black Mirror episodes from least (1) to most (7) disturbing:*

1. “San Junipero” - Season 3, Episode 4. This one is richly produced and aching but not scary or disturbing. Beautiful and sad.

2. “Be Right Back” - Season 2, Episode 1. Where grief turns ghoulish, exploring the limits of technology to help us through loss. Super depressing, but Domhnall Gleeson is so good.

3. “White Christmas” - Holiday Special. This is “the episode with Jon Hamm.” It’s a little all over the place, but the acting is top-tier, and the brain twists it did on me!!

4. “Playtest” - Season 3, Episode 2. This one and “National Anthem” are the ones I’ve recounted the most at parties. This ending really messes with you, and I like to spread that trauma around.

5. “The National Anthem” - Season 1, Episode 1. Ben has never watched this one and never will because it does have an incredibly nauseating central concept. [You can Wikipedia that!] But I thought it was a perfectly executed thought experiment—that I will unfortunately never unsee.

6. “White Bear” - Season 2, Episode 2. There’s too much disturbing human-on-human horror in this, but the point it’s making — about our society’s hankering to see people punished and the question of how much “justice” is too much — is a deep one.

   [That’s a common theme through many Black Mirror episodes: “Yes, these people did unimaginably horrible things, but do we harm ourselves more by wringing the last drop of vengeance upon them? What DO people really ‘deserve’?”]

My least favorite Black Mirror episodes:

• “Crocodile” - Season 4, Episode 3. I wish I hadn’t watched it. It bothered me so much; it was just all horrible human darkness and desperately sad murders.

• “Beyond the Sea” - Season 6, Episode 3. This is from the new season, and it has Josh Hartnett and Aaron Paul! But the plot relies on some absolutely horrific and gruesome slayings (with children involved), and I couldn’t stomach it.

• “Loch Henry” - Season 6, Episode 2. Again, goes too far into human depravity with no real payoff.

*All Black Mirrors should be taken with a strong stomach. Watch at your own risk.

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What a fun, creepy week we’ve had. I hope you’re having a good one — and I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions! Did you hate this? Do you love scaring yourself a little bit? What are you watching this week? Drop a comment to chat about it, or a 💜 to help me grow!