Is Don't Worry Darling Good? Plus Mo on Netflix, Cyrano, Do Revenge, and GBBO Episode 2!
What I'm Watching, Reading, and Listening To This Week
HAPPY FALL!!!!!!!! It’s cuffing season! It’s soup season! It’s “mistakenly assume you’ll enjoy spending an entire day picking apples with strangers’ children when it’s still 78 degrees out and kids don’t know how to pick apples AT ALL” season!
I’ve lined up two Fall Shows, in addition to House of the Dragon, Bake Off, and Rings of Power:
Catching back up on Season 2 of Only Murders in the Building. What’s more autumnal than Amy Schumer saying, “You made murder feel so cozy!!”
Attempting Gilmore Girls. Can I survive Lorelai?? We shall see!
I’ve also attempted to watch a couple new movies to usher in the new season, and I will give you my unsolicited opinion on both: Cyrano and Do Revenge.
Cyrano. I was not made for whatever “earnest” “musical” genre this is!! This was so bad I couldn’t get through it on an airplane!!!! And I tried! Reader, I suffered. I watched 55 miserable minutes of this garbage movie with the dial turned to Full Strength Secondhand-Embarrassment.
Things that make me uncomfortable in movies:Singing for no reason
Bad accents
Rhyming couplets
Earnestness + Horrible Chemistry
This movie had ALL OF IT!!! Nobody had chemistry, the writing was horrific, the songs all sounded exactly the same, and what passed for choreography looked like the ribbon dance I did in first grade at Wekiva Christian School to As the Deer. [No shots at WCS! Movies should have better choreography than school performances in Orlando!]
As I said to my mom and sister, “I love Much Ado About Nothing because it’s so over-the-top and ridiculous and in iambic pentameter and has songs, but it’s self-aware that it’s over-the-top. Whereas, to me, Cyrano felt like it was all of that, but it was just like DEADLY SERIOUS.”
I will say that the main guy other than Cyrano is great and keep putting him in more things. Readers, have any of you watched it? Should I have kept going???
Do Revenge. This Netflix original has all the ingredients of an instant classic teen flick! It’s super self-aware and stylized, referencing basically every teen movie you can think of — Mean Girls, Heathers, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Breakfast Club, etc. — while building its own fun thing. The fashion and soundtrack got me through the definitely overlong, convoluted plot. If you like Gossip Girl, Gone Girl, or any teen drama or “femme revenge” film — you’ll probably enjoy the ride! Warning: They say the “c” word a lot!!
In the spirit of Fall shows and movies: What Fall Shows are you finding yourself drawn to right now? Are any new movies piquing your interest? What has the fresh, crisp weather wrought upon your media intake??
In the News
The Male Leads of Primetime are not doing well. Tom Brady and Adam Levine [who basically ARE Primetime America?] are both potentially careening toward marital collapse. And while the memes are funny…this stuff mostly bums me out? It’s not surprising, but it’s like, we all know real people going through this shit, and it’s just *actually* shitty?? ANYHOO!! Now that I’ve brought the vibe down to the basement floor, I do have two highlights:
While having sexts leaked is a nightmare scenario that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, please enjoy this video highlighting how Adam Levine looks like a Chipotle bag!
Giselle told Elle: “I’ve done my part. I moved to Boston, and I focused on creating a cocoon and a loving environment for my children and supporting [Tom].” Reading between the lines…She said she had to protect her children from that garbage city!! Giselle is divorcing the City of Boston! 👏🏼 [I hate Boston for personal reasons we won’t go into, but they’re all about Rashad, and Boston can eat a bag of d***s.]
The Whitney Houston biopic looks so…cheap?? Are we going to fail Whitney yet again??? [I realize this question answers itself!] I want this to be good, but I’m so worried!! Why do they focus so much on Stanley Tucci in bad prosthetics?? Is he Tom Hanks-ing?
The hot brother from Bridgerton will be Fiyero in the new Wicked movie!! Musical Theater Twitter loves this! Bridgerton Twitter loves this! Gay Twitter loves this! I love this! If you don’t recall, Cynthia Erivo is Elphaba and Ariana Grande is Glinda. 10/10!!
The new Bachelor is the nephew of Kronk. Yes, that Kronk. This is the only Bachelor news I have ever liked. Apparently, though, he sucks.
Rihanna, new MOM, is officially headlining the Super Bowl Halftime Show! Does this mean we might someday see the legendary “R9”!?? A.k.a. Rihanna’s 9th studio album we’ve been anticipating for over SIX YEARS!??? Maybe too much to hope, but I’m sure her halftime show will kill.
Swifties had their hopes up that Taylor Swift would headline the halftime show after rumors were floated that she’d been invited. Turns out Taylor was invited, but she said, “No thanks, I’m too busy ruining Scooter Braun’s life re-recording all my old albums.”
Movies - Don’t Worry Darling
[I saw it!! You can see my pre-Venice Film Festival explainer on all the drama people around this film. But honestly, we’re all tired of it! Why can’t people just make movies, not exactly get along, and then we enjoy the movies? Olivia didn’t do anything bad to anyone as far as we know, so let’s just stop the madness! We have bigger fish to fry! People are still supporting Woody Allen!]
“My favorite thing about the movie is…it feels like a movie.”
-Harry Styles, turning Chris Pine’s brain into mush
Point: Harry was…not wrong?
It feels like a MOVIE! LOL! Wanna see Florence Pugh own a psych thriller? Wanna see Chris Pine give “my smoking hot wife” youth pastor? Wanna see a master class on acting with just a pair of sunglasses and a carton of eggs? Wanna watch beautiful people glide over a sinister White Lotus soundtrack? Wanna see Harry Styles do a tap number—for no apparent reason?? In short—Wanna see a movie that feels like a movie? WHY NOT!!
People say we don’t “have movie stars anymore,” but what is Florence Pugh if not the brightest of our stars??? I rest my case.
Pros: It was fun. Everything was gorgeous. The acting was superb. Harry mostly just had to sit still and look pretty while Florence performed. Florence gave us “Oscar-Contender”! Also, Olivia Wilde can direct and act! Let her be a bad person, or whatever!
Cons: It wasn’t saying anything challenging or fresh unless you’re a far-right incel who wants to subjugate women. [None of you!] If you want to see something much better with a similar premise, go see Get Out. Also, it got messy with plot and a lot of unanswered questions.
Verdict: The message is old, but the method felt fresh enough. The twists worked, the audience gasped, the Styles girls next to me were left speechless. [And by “speechless” I mean they all turned to each other and screamed: “Oh my god, WHAT!?!?!!” at the end.]
Counterpoint: Harry was WRONG! This would’ve slapped as a TV SHOW!
This would’ve made a great 10-episode series! I demand a redo! Call Netflix! Call Bezos! Get HBO on the line!
A little Mad Men, a little Handmaid’s Tale, a little Black Mirror!? Not as original as any of those, but still fun? They could explore all those unanswered questions. I would watch an entire episode about Chris Pine, sexy youth pastor cult leader! I would watch hours of exposition on: “What the hell was going on with Gemma Chan?” I want to see how Margaret ended up where she did! I would even happily explore Olivia Wilde being inexplicably married to Nick Kroll!
TV - Mo on Netflix
Mo is equal parts hilarity and anxiety. It’s about the “comedy and tragedy of the immigrant experience” and they don’t pull punches on either one. It made me laugh with glee and anxiety-butt-clench in equal measure! But it was brilliant, and wow am I glad I watched.
If you’ve watched Ramy by Ramy Youssef, you’ll recognize the show’s creator, Mohammed Amer, who starred as a side character. Both Ramy and Mo are creative descendants of Aziz Ansari’s Master of None, centering immigrant voices and featuring characters grappling with their faith and culture. It’s so well done and well acted. By the end of the third episode, I was crying like a little baby and legitimately HOOKED.
Tiny spoiler, but just so you know: It ends on a cliffhanger with ZERO resolution on ANYTHING, which stressed me the f*** out!! Obviously a commentary on the refugee experience but—again—stressful AF!!
Bake Off Corner - A spanner in the works!
My favorite take I’ve heard about this season of Bake Off: Prue is all of us in January with our New Year’s Resolutions, and Carole is all of us in November when we’ve failed to live up to any of them! I love Carole so much!
This was a tough episode for Carole, though, with her biscuit stand that was basically just two sharp pointy things? What did you think was going to happen, Carole!!???
Also, I googled “throw a spanner in the works” — because Noel said it like three times — and it’s exactly what it sounds like and exactly what Carole was doing with her biscuit-killing biscuit stand!
A couple of other standouts this episode:
Rebs is bringing back lip liner as a lewk, and I am torn between hating it and wondering if I can pull it off without looking like Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus.
Dawn AND Maxy got Hollywood handshakes!! I feel like all Maxy needs is confidence [just like Nadiya!?], and she’s starting her doses now!
Why aren’t we giving Syabira EXTRA points for making feathers? I know she got the assignment wrong, but…She made FEATHERS. Out of CHOCOLATE! When she DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO!!!! Also, it’s now obvious she isn’t cheating by spying on everyone else — which is absolutely how I would be on Bake Off. [ie—a consummate cheater.]
I really wanna see Do Revenge, it looks like a fun romp!
And now I really want to see Mo based on your review!! I hadn’t even heard of it!