The Summer TV Preview!

Bad air quality got you down? These shows make INDOORS fun!

I was out for two weeks visiting my family in Texas as our mom goes through chemo. To all of you who have texted or messaged or said or thought kind things, I am so grateful.

Nalini Vishwakumar (Left): May we know her, may we be her. (Screenshot from Never Have I Ever)

Welcome back to the Internet, Hannah! I shall not flatter myself that you’ve all been wringing your hands awaiting my return — or even that you managed to notice it has been an entire 19 days since a newsletter last paid respects to your Inbox.

Regardless, I’m delighted to be back!

This week we’re doing a SUMMER STREAMING PREVIEW. Fear not the changing climate — there is entertainment to be had INDOORS! Entertainment is to me a beautiful thing. A way to grapple with reality, understand it in new ways, and escape from it, all at once. Let’s do this.

On my travels, I did get around to watching a few new(ish) movies as well, including:

• The Super Mario Bros. Movie

• Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

• 80 for Brady

• TINA

• A Good Person

A Good Person has a 58% critic’s score and a 96% audience score. Having watched it, I get it: It feels like a made-for-TV movie but with the crowd-pleasing triple-threat of 1) A lot of heart, 2) Morgan Freeman, 3) Florence Pugh. The plot felt somehow rushed or unearned and the characters a little flat, but that didn’t stop your girl from crying her eyes out!

Anyhoo, I was reminded of this question I heard on a podcast recently: If you were a movie, what would your Critic’s and Audience Score be? Are you Certified Fresh™️ or are you an Iconoclast that they just don’t understand?

I’m gonna hazard that my critic’s score would be around 65%, and my audience score maybe…………like……….…[does she dare]……………..90%!?? [Am I a narcissist??]

Anyhoo, what’s yours? Inquiring minds [me] would like to know!

Summer TV Preview!

My face after hearing anyone say, “You should watch ‘The Idol’!” (screenshot from “The Idol”)

It’s time to get into all the shows we can anticipate over the next three months of cookouts, forest fires, beach days, hurricanes, watered-down rosé cocktails, and knowing in your heart you aren’t using enough sunscreen!

I will be pre-reviewing [just like Roman Roy’s “pre-grieving”] each show with reactions pulled purely from the area of my gut and being entirely too online.

What do you think: What shows are you excited about from the list below? Am I missing any I should be getting excited about? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Platonic: Apple TV+, May 24

If you, like me, love the stupid and perfect Zac Efron movie Neighbors, then you already know about the slapstick, barbed, delightful chemistry that exists between Seth Rogen and my personal favorite, Rose Byrne. [I love a hot girl who is also funny? Like, what trauma have you lived through, hunny!? You are so important to the world!]

I’m gonna check this out because they both have a hall pass from me. Not the kind of Hall Pass where you can cheat on your spouse [only Rose Byrne], the kind of Hall Pass where you’ll watch a little of anything they do just because it’s THEM.

May all their endeavors be blessed.

[Speaking of: If you haven't watched Rose Byrne’s show Physical, it’s worth a try if you enjoy a dark, depressing comedy that’s super engaging. I only watched the first season, but the next is on my list. TW for disordered eating.]

The Idol: HBO/MAX, Jun. 4

This travesty is meant to replace Succession or The Last of Us in HBO’s “must-see-TV” Sunday night slot.

*cue me spluttering and coughing out my California Red in shock and disgust*

It’s made by Sam Levinson, the guy who adapted Euphoria, which is an admittedly brilliant show that I never could convince myself to watch because I just couldn’t stomach the UNDERAGED of it all. [To be fair to all you Euphoria fans out there, the actors doing the drugs and soft porn ARE adults. ~*technically*~]

Plus, all my friends who watched it were ✨Depressed✨ by it, and that is my very educated and informed psychoanalysis of Euphoria! My other very educated [and probably libelous?] opinion is that Sam Levinson seems like a guy who has dabbled in, what shall we call it, *UNDERAGED stuff.*

All that to say: After reading some of the sticky/nasty details about the brutally sexualizing parts of this show, I will adamantly NOT be watching this!

And for the record, I have heard it is only so-so. Critics say 27%, Audiences say 58%.

The Lazarus Project: TNT, Jun. 4

This looks like what Citadel tried and failed to be—and I’m interested!

The plot: A man keeps waking up and reliving the same day only to discover the world is in some overarching project that resets time to avoid an apocalypse — or something like that; I don’t know, I haven’t seen it! Basically, Groundhog Day but not a comedy, or Edge of Tomorrow but no aliens? All positives!

This came out in Britain last year, and TNT thought it was good enough to release this side of the pond. Color me curious; I do love an apocalyptic time-bending tale!

Plus, it stars Paapa Essiedu, who was incandescently beautiful, both inside and out, in the very funny/brilliant/horribly difficult-to-watch show I May Destroy You.

Never Have I Ever: Final Season, Jun. 8

It’s HERE! The moment we have all been both dreading and waiting all our lives for! The final season! I watch this show like it’s my BREAKFAST! (aka the most important meal I will eat all day, what gets me out of bed each morning, and the only thing that keeps me regular)

Based on a True Story: Peacock, Jun. 8

Peacock’s latest entry in their historied comedy pantheon is yet another sendup of true crime podcasters, à la Only Murders in the Building.

Not exactly original, BUT — though it pains me to sound like such a chienne basique — this show does look like a fun time!

I may have to check it out!

However, as a Verified Quitter™️ of TV shows, I must ask: Why isn’t it just a tight 90-minute movie?

The Crowded Room: Apple TV+, Jun. 9

My only question here is: Will Zendaya ever be able to unsee this worse-than-Goblet-of-Fire-Daniel-Radcliffe hair on her BF, Tom Holland?? Tom Holland really watched Harry Styles get ugly and greasy in Don’t Worry Darling and whispered to himself, “Harry Styles WISHES he could be me.”

This is a true crime show for prestige TV. Tommy is the alleged serial killer, and Amanda Seyfried is the “unlikely investigator.” [What makes her unlikely? Because she is small and blonde? Because she is pretty which makes her…not able to investigate?? We will have to watch to find out, I suppose!]

It looks very dark and heavy, which is not exactly my preferred summer vibe, but with Holland + Seyfried [and EMMY ROSSUM!? what is this, the year 2004??], I will at least be checking this one out!

Black Mirror, Season 6: Netflix, Jun. 15

I HAVE BEEN AWAITING THIS FRESH BREEZE OF DOOM FOR SO LONG!!!!

I’m really *hopeful* for this new season based on my love for Black Mirror and this season’s POWERFUL cast, including Salma Hayek Pinault, Alexis Annie Murphy, Michael Cera, Himesh Patel, Ben Barnes, Aaron Paul, Josh Hartnett, Rory Culkin, Kate Mara, and Zazie Beetz.

I’m really *nervous* about this new season based on the fact that the director cannot stop telling audiences to “expect the unexpected.” Which is, like, a scootch desperate?

I mean, we already know “the unexpected” is like Black Mirror’s *whole thing.* Soooo…why are you basically begging us to believe you? Methinks the lady doth protest too much?

Anyhoo! I hope it’s good!

The Bear, Season 2: Hulu and FX, Jun. 22

I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m mostly nervous. Fitting, I guess, for a show as frenetic, stressful, chaotic, and wonderful as Season 1.

They really got me back in on The Bear with the Actors on Actors featuring Jennifer Coolidge shooting her shot with Jeremy Allen White. We want to be part of your world again, Chef! At the same time, Season 1 was like a perfect short story? I’m scared they’ll ruin it….

Hijack: Apple TV+, Jun. 28

The moral of THIS story is Never hijack a plane with Idris Elba on it. In these Divided Times, perhaps this is the one great truth we can all come together on.

Also, some of the writing team from the fantastic French show Lupin are on board! Obviously, I’ll tune in to at least one episode to see how this goes.

But I must admit it’s another one that I’m a little like: Why isn’t this just a 90-minute film?

Full Circle: MAX, Jul. 13

An HBO show by Steven Soderbergh starring Zazie Beetz and Claire Danes? You had me at each of the words in that sentence!

Full Circle appears to be a thriller/kidnapping/corporate corruption/international crime drama of some sort set in NYC. Without those powerhouse names involved, I would honestly pass on this faster than you can say, Been There Done That, but you know that with this talent, they could be doing something really exciting here.

Or not! Stay tuned!

Survival of the Thickest: Netflix, Jul. 13

Michelle Buteau, who you might recognize from her many comedy roles and shows, takes the lead in this funny, sparkly body-positivity show. More of this! Always!

The name itself is *chef’s kiss*. I’m looking forward to checking this out and hoping we just keep getting more shows that celebrate people in the way they really are.

What We Do in the Shadows, Season 5: Hulu, Jul. 13

I will just keep ringing this bell until you all get so beaten down and sick of me that you finally try watching this delightful hilarious, wholly original roommate comedy!

[The fact they’re vampires should not deter you!]

Best mockumentary on television right now!

Reservation Dogs, Season 3: Hulu, Aug. 2

[That’s the trailer for Season 1 because I don’t know where the trailer for Season 3 is hiding.]

Another Taika Waititi creation and favorite of this blog gets its third season! Full disclosure, I did not watch Season 2. Oopsie, whoopsie! Never said I wasn’t a Verified Quitter™️, even when the show is good!

[Fifteen years later, I’m still only halfway through Breaking Bad, y’all!]

Painkiller: Netflix, Aug. 10

[The only trailers I can find for “Painkiller” are old movies and not the correct show.]

Uzo Aduba and Matthew Broderick star in yet ANOTHER retelling of the opioid crisis and the Sackler family’s responsibility in it. At this point, I’m like: I’ve had enough of this story? It’s a massively important story and a hugely evil corporate crime, but do we really need twelve [3] shows about it right NOW??

If I hear this is getting good reviews, I’ll check it out, but I would just direct you all to the heartbreaking but excellent Dopesick instead.

Or the documentary All the Beauty and the Bloodshed. [Warning for the kids: That one has lots of what I call “art nudity,” to the point that when I was trying to watch it while my mother-in-law was in the next room, I just couldn’t do it!].

That’s all for this week, folks! As always, thank you so, so much for being here! Let me know what you like, what you think, what you’re excited for. Drop a comment or 💜 to help me keep growing this little thing. :)