There's no crying in baseball!
A League of Their Own is *finally* here, a new Predator movie, Taylor Swift is back in the doghouse, the dark comedy I'm reading, Mindy Kaling effervescence, and everyone else is canceled!!!!
Greetings, friends!! I join you midweek because I was literally too busy writing articles about baseball! [For my J-O-B. I know everything about Aaron Judge, plz quiz me.]
This week we are celebrating, of all things—America’s pastime, the Perfect Game, the Sandlot, the great American sport—in short, baseball!
Why? Well, Abbi Jacobson’s remake of A League of Their Own is FINALLY out, and there may be no crying is baseball, but there is gratitude for this kind, lovely show.
The other reason I have baseball on the brain is that I write about sports now, despite the fact that I myself tried several sports growing up and ended up playing the piano!
Readers, I would like to know: Growing up, did “sports” A) define your identity, B) give you a connection with one of your parents, C) seem fun, D) terrify you to your very core, or E) a combination??
For me, it was D! Obviously! Now on to this week’s topics!
IN THE NEWS - Everyone is CANCELED and, as a believer in Second Chances™️, I do not say that lightly!
Taylor Swift remains in the doghouse. Kind of. This time, Taylor is being sued for stealing the lyrics for “Shake it Off” from the song “Playas Gon’ Play” by 3LW. Taylor says she’d never heard that song in her life, nor had she ever heard of 3LW! And, readers, it will surprise no one that—neither had I?? I do believe Taylor, because “haters gonna hate” and “players gonna play” are just out there for anyone’s taking. However, we shouldn’t forget that white women stealing black women’s creative work is a well-documented problem.
Warner Bros. Discovery canceled a Batgirl movie, and everyone is losing their damn minds. AS THEY SHOULD! If you’re not aware, “Warner Bros. Discovery” is the super-conglomerate that owns HBO, CNN, DC, Fandango, Chip and Joanna Gaines, etc. Batgirl was basically finished when the company decided they’d prefer a tax write-off instead. TOUGH! STUFF!! Another shitty thing? They’re NOT canceling The Flash, despite the lead actor Ezra Miller having multiple arrests/protection orders for assault and abusing minors!? [Although I will say, upon reading about Miller’s arrests, I sympathize with the one where they “got agitated” at a couple for singing “Shallow.” Who among us!??]
The sick boy from The Princess Bride [Fred Savage] did bad stuff and got fired in May, and now we finally know why—and it’s NOT GOOD. From verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing women at work to potentially grooming young women, none of it’s good!! I think he probably needs help! And he also needs to not do more jobs in Hollywood! What a Humperdinck, amirite??
Speaking of problematic people in Hollywood, James Franco got cast as Fidel Castro. Problem #1: I guess there are exactly zero Latino actors alive right now? Problem #2: Franco has a track record of sexual harassment/abuse. He was even exposed on “Live with Kelly and Michael” for sending texts to minors asking for sex.
You know it’s bad when Kelly and Michael are after your ass!!
OK, this is my laaast thing I’ll b*tch about, but I need to talk about David Beckham and Posh Spice’s child, Brooklyn Bekcham. Background first. Every year, Variety publishes a “Power of Young Hollywood” issue meant to highlight rising young talent. This year they featured four cover models: (1) break-out Euphoria star Angus Cloud, (2) singer and future Little Mermaid star Halle Bailey, (3) Mexican-American singer and Power Ranger Becky G, and—INEXPLICABLY—(3) Brooklyn Beckham!??!?
Hold up! Just because his mom is Posh Spice and his dad is David Beckham doesn’t mean he gets a Variety cover! Also, his wife Nicola Peltz may or may not have pushed a nanny down the stairs when she was a teenager!?! Get these kids out of here!! Money exchanged hands here FOR SURE.
The “reason” he’s on the cover is that he “ is a chef.” LOL, don’t make me laugh! He has a cooking show on Facebook Messenger [I’m screaming with laughter] that requires a team of 62 people and a hundred THOUSAND dollars per episode, where basically all he does is put aioli on bagels! He went on the Today Show and, I tell you the truth, all he did was assemble a sandwich!! Someone call Carmy from The Bear! When Remy from Ratatouille says Anyone Can Cook, he does NOT mean Brooklyn Beckham!
*deep, centering breaths*
To cleanse our timeline: Mindy Kaling’s press tour fashion for Never Have I Ever Season 3
FASHION. ICON. That’s all. Visit her Instagram for good feelings [pretty clothes, yummy food, warmth and smiles] any time you’re feeling sad about the world.
I haven’t started Season 3 of Never Have I Ever yet, but have plans to watch it with friends next week! One of those friends [Kayla] aptly described the show as Mindy Kaling’s best work and the people must agree!!
TV - A League of Their Own on Amazon Prime
Abbi Jacobson: A GENERATIONAL TALENT!!!! I was first introduced to Abbi as half of the dynamic duo who created Broad City. Abbi made that show for me. The energy she brings to “the pube situation” at Soulstice, the slow-motion escape at the dentist, the roller blading!! In A League of Their Own, she brings the same understated energy and comic timing but leverages it for sincerity and emotion. I’m in love.
Here’s the other thing I love about this show: it’s about women. And all the ways they can be — straight, queer, married, transitioning, funny, sad, obsessive, anxious, confident, judgmental, seeking meaning, seeking love. Of course, the original movie A League of Their Own—which is incredible—is also about women. But somehow they give way too much screentime to Tom freaking Hanks???? He gets to yell in a woman’s face “There’s no crying in baseball!” In this show, they give that line to one of the female players instead.
Is it a capital G Great show? Nah. The sets and costumes are gorgeous, but it seems like they skimped a little on the writing. It gets preachy, it’s a little obvious. I can’t help but compare it to GLOW, a comparable show, where they’re willing to let the audience be uncomfortable, willing to let the story and characters really cook. Also, I have never in my LIFE said, “I wish there was more baseball in this,” but I DID say that during several episodes of this show. So make of that what you will!
I think it’s saved by a few great performances, specifically from Jacobson, D’Arcy Carden [she’s stunning!], and Gbemisola Ikumelo.
Movies - Prey
This is the latest installment in the Predator franchise, of which I have seen none! [It’s Taylor Swift and 3LW all over again!]
Prey is basically like, take Predator and imagine if it was made by A24. Artful. Musical. A tight 90 minutes! I liked it!
Ben is now taking me on a tour through all the Predator movies. He LOVES Predator. And by that I mean he loves the actual Predator. He keeps talking about how great Predator is and how Predator has a moral code and how Predator is a hero and how Predator doesn’t deserve to die, yada yada yada.
But here’s the thing… I think I’m an Alien gal!??! Predator has been fine so far, but I f*cking LOVED the Alien movies!?!! Theyr’e so weird and scary!? So now I have a theory that every relationship has a Predator person and an Alien person in it, and this is my new Zodiac/Enneagram.
Which are you??? Prepare to be judged!!
Listening - I’m Glad My Mom Died
Sound dark enough? This book is by a former Disney Channel star who became a writer and tells her life story of having an abusive mom and being forced to become a child actor and then her mom dying of cancer [not a spoiler] and the emotional confusion that comes from all this.
And damn, if it’s not some of the best stuff I’ve read recently? It’s dark and sad but so damn funny! And by “read” I obviously mean “listened to” because I got the audiobook where she herself reads it and it’s perfect.
*Content Warning: abusive parents, disordered eating, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and a lot of that kind of thing*
Food Corner
This week, Ben and I had the distinct honor of meeting THIS MAN:
If you haven’t read this 13-part Instagram post, you MUST! I read it last week and, in crazy stalker fashion, immediately booked a reservation at the restaurant where he works, Craft NYC!
[Also famous for being one of Top Chef’s Tom Colicchio’s restaurants.]
As soon as we were seated, I noticed John, in a light gray suit, energetically moving throughout the restaurant — speaking aside with staff, greeting tables, bringing a bottle of wine here or there. To myself, I was like, “Be cool, Hannah! Don’t tell him you’re here because of Instagram! Let him live!”
Then, he walked up to our table, said “What brought you here,” and my stupid foot went into my stupid mouth and I blurted out “Your Instagram story!!!!!”
He was so gracious. He told us more about the experience of sharing his story — how he told Brandon [Humans of New York guy] he would do the story but that there were things he wasn’t going to share; how Brandon said, “But what if you did decide to share those things”; how it took over 150 hours of interviews and conversations; how Brandon took over 400 pictures to get the right one; how now every chef in NYC wants to hire him but he won’t leave because he’s loyal to the people who gave him this chance.
We thanked him profusely [and Ben got his card for corporate events because pay it forward, people] and he said “I’m glad you read the story, and I hope other people can read it, too. I think there’s something in it for everyone. Mostly, to not give up on yourself, and to give other people second, third, and fourth chances.”
He f*cking said that!! Highly recommend visiting Craft if you’re ever in the NYC area. Or just read his story and feel some hope. <3
Oh, and definitely D. Unless dance is sports!!!
YOU SAW JOHN!!!!!!