Are You There God? It's Me, Hi, I'm the Problem It's Me.
My favorite movie of 2023 so far, a fun TV series, and a comedy special
Hello, friends! Last week, I took a break from Substack in order to eat and sun-tan my way through Miami Beach. My two favorite spots this time were Stubborn Seed [tasting menu!] and the Matador Room [the outdoor tables!]. The food was so good that I think I might actually like mushrooms now? [Grandad did always say I would eventually develop “grownup taste buds” and enjoy mushrooms — and here I am, almost 35 years old, finally a real adult!] Do you have “grown-up” foods you still don’t like?
This week I hope to catch up on some movies [Renfield, John Wick, Dungeons & Dragons, and Polite Society] and prepare for the impending apocalypse potential Hollywood writer’s strike!
Meanwhile, I’ve seen a slew of trailers that I’m excited about:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus in You Hurt My Feelings
Celine Dion (!!!!), Priyanka Chopra, and some hot guy in Love Again
Taika Waititi’s new project, NEXT GOAL WINS
The new Little Mermaid trailer where Flounder looks like, as some have said, “my sleep paralysis demon.”
And then, of course, the further-out teaser for what I’ll call the Mark Ruffalo-ification of All the Light We Cannot See, to which my twin sister responded, “DON’T RUIN THE BOOK IT DIDN’T ASK FOR A MOVIE.” But I’m intrigued!
So here’s what I want to know from YOU: Do you get excited about movie adaptations of your favorite books, or does the very idea give you chills of horror? What are your most and least favorite adaptations?
[My favorite: Greta Gerwig’s Little Women. My least favorite: Dakota Johnson’s “Now We’re Worse Than Exes, We’re Friends” Persuasion.]
On that note, the BEST thing I watched this week was a beloved book-to-movie adaptation: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Read on for my thoughts!
In the News
👯♀️ I have spent too much time this week stress-thinking about singer Shawn Mendes’ “smoothie squad.” I have so many questions, including: Are bandanas back? Is going barefoot in our trash cities the pinnacle of Stealth Wealth? But mostly: Why does Shawn Mendes—the prettiest person alive—surround himself with verified Uggos? He really looked in a mirror, knowing full well that he could stand out in a crowd of actual supermodels, and whispered to himself, “There can only be One.” Practically immoral, if you ask me!!
🧛🏻♀️ They’re going to make a Twilight TV series. Hold your applause. But wow, that on top of the rumored Harry Potter series? Millennials really said, “I am the captain now!” I for one hope that they opt for a sports drama about the Vampire Baseball League. No one who watched that scene in the original Twilight could wish for anything more! They could call it “Friday Night Bites.” Get it?? Cuz vampires? No?
👑 Update King Charles’ coronation, which is this Saturday! Remember how they couldn’t get any of Great Britain’s A-List singers to perform for it? Well, not to worry because they have officially added Katy Perry and Lionel Richie to the lineup! That’s TWO of three American Idol judges! Yes, two-thirds of **American** Idol will save the King of England’s Coronation Party! That headline again: “American Revolution 2: Trojan Horse.”
Anyhoo, can’t wait to see King Charles attempt to look dignified during a spirited rendition of “California Gurls”!!
☻ New season of Black Mirror, coming in June!! The cast includes Zazie Beetz, Aaron Paul, Himesh Patel, Salma Hayek, Kate Mara, Michael Cera, Josh Hartnett(!?), and a THIRD Culkin brother I never knew existed! I’M SO EXCITED TO HAVE MY BRAIN F***** ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!
💰 A person called Demetrious Polychron [yes] is suing Amazon and the Tolkien Estate for stealing his fanfiction for Rings of Power! That’s a real thing that is happening in the REAL WORLD!! [Did any of you write fanfic? Read fanfic? What IP had your favorite fanfic and what was your favorite plot line? (Mine: Frodo and Sam shippers.)]
Watching: A Fun TV Show, a Comedy Special, & an Absolutely Delightful Movie
We’re gonna go with a “Good-Better-Best” format here, starting with a solid fun show I watched while on my flights this week [Good], then a comedy special I listened to at the pool [Better], and lastly, the best movie I’ve watched in a WHILE [Best]!
Good: The Diplomat on Netflix
Okay, this isn’t The Americans [Keri Russell’s last series and one of the best spy shows of recent decades], but it’s highly fun and watchable! The stakes are, on paper, as high as they can get: the cusp of international war. And yet somehow, they also feel as gentle as an awkward British garden party — of which the show features several!
This should be a criticism, but, Reader, it is not!
The Diplomat takes itself deadly seriously, but is also absolutely UNserious in every way. There are threats of global collapse on all sides, but there are also galas! Keri Russell is continuously undergoing a Makeover Montage while Rufus Sewell1 smizes in the background! Husbands are punched in the hedgerows! I cannot emphasize how unserious this show is! I ate it right up, and it dissolved quickly and easily like cotton candy. Lovely!
Also, I must just mention the hair continuity problem. One minute her hair is straight; the next, it’s a frizzy mess. The next, it’s slightly curled but greasy, and then the next, it’s inexplicably in a tiny bun! It makes no sense! All of it is their attempt to say, Look at this Career Woman! She is very pretty, but she doesn’t know it! She has greasy hair, but she doesn’t care!!
Again: Unserious!
Better: Baby J on Netflix
John Mullaney has been one of the funniest comedians around for a while now, but I’d say his friendship with Pete Davidson, stint in rehab [unrelated], subsequent divorce, and new baby with Olivia Munn are how he got catapulted to be famous-famous.
Now he’s back [after said rehab and baby-having] and his new special is just as good as he ever was, but this time a lot more … transparent? honest? harsh? a roast aimed directly at himself? He shares his experience coming to terms with his drug and alcohol addiction, his star-studded intervention, and his time in rehab.
And it’s hilarious.
Great watch/listen.
BEST: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. In theaters!!
I went into the cold, sunless basement caverns of the AMC West Palm Beach on a perfectly sunny afternoon in South Florida in order to watch this movie. Two hours later, I emerged, as Nicole Kidman says, “not just entertained, but somehow reborn.”
I immediately texted a friend who had also seen it that day: “Omg I just got out of Are you there god it’s me Margaret, and I feel SO MUCH LOVE toward the whole world!” I checked my unread texts, and my mom had sent photos of my little niece Mila at a kids’ science museum, and I’m not gonna lie, I CRIED! All this while stone-cold SOBER. It is a fantastic movie that will make you feel GOOD!!
I am one of the few people who never read the book, so the story was fresh to me — a 12-year-old girl going through a year of change. Nothing more dramatic than moving to a new city, starting at a new school, making new friends, and waiting to get her period2. And yet all the emotional resonance and hilarity and beauty that a little girl’s emotional and spiritual life contains. Bless the children! Also, the little gal who plays Margaret, Abby Ryder Fortson, is a REVELATION.
My heart is so full! Anyhoo, go see this immediately!
That’s it for this week, folks! As always, thank you SO deeply for reading along with me! I would love to hear your thoughts, opinions, and what you’re watching, reading, or listening to! Drop a 💜 or a comment to say hi. :)
One time I took my mom to Tea & Sympathy in NYC, and as we were leaving Rufus Sewell himself walked in! So we spent 15 minutes on the sidewalk figuring out how to nonchalantly go back in, and Mom delivered spectacularly, struggling with the heavy front door so laboriously [and honestly!], that Rufus himself gallantly rose from his seat to help her! Unabashed stan behavior from Jamie Vanbiber!
It made me recall fondly how when I got my period, my mom took me to Target to pick out a purse so I could carry pads around in it. I remember being soooooo embarrassed and thinking everyone knew exactly what the purse was for, and that they were all watching me, thinking — I guess — “lol she’s on her period lol gross lol disgusting"?? A token of womanhood shame! [I didn’t use a purse for like a whole decade after that!]
as a Certified Reader, I genuinely love adaptations. Sometimes it’s tough when I’ve really loved a book to see it made into a visual medium because there’s always something lost in translation but I do my best to remind myself that it’s simply a different manifestation of a story I enjoyed with characters I care about. Same reason I love reading fanfic!
The Diplomat looks like it’s going to scratch my West Wing itch AND I love Keri so it’s in my queue (trying not to watch stuff during the strike)
Excellent Nicole shoutout. I’ve been saving AYTG? IMM to watch on a hard day. I also have not read the book and tbh considering watching the movie first (anathema to my parents who forced their homeschooled children to read any book before watching its adaptation!).
Really enjoying the diplomat. Has a fun, inside baseball feel to people who do highly important jobs but talk to each other like co-workers would