And the Oscar Nomination Goes To....
Let's get into it, y'all!
Greetings from the brain of a jet-lagged woman who has taken three (3) ten (10)-minute naps today and just moments ago got hot sauce in her eyeball [don’t ask!], so is currently squinting at this screen through her 2013 prescription spectacles!
I’ve been MIA for a couple of weeks because Ben and I just got back from a massive “1/3rd-Life Crisis” Extravaganza Birthday Trip that Ben has been planning for ages and was truly one for the history books.
[I’m trying to make “1/3rd-Life Crisis” happen because Ben keeps calling 35 his “mid-life crisis,” and that’s just offensive to everyone, especially Leo DiCaprio, who would probably like to remind us he is a full two years away from his “mid” “life” and Rihanna can call any time she wants!!]
Anyhoo, I’m not here to talk about that, I’m here to talk about…
THE OSCAR NOMINATIONS!
Honestly, the Oscar Nominations weren’t even the biggest live TV event of the day — That award goes to all the senators who decided to quote Taylor Swift during the Live Nation and Ticketmaster hearing. Absolute pandering and clickbait behavior on the part of our elected officials! Nothing like a US State Senator declaring, wildly out of context, “I’m the problem, it’s me!”
God bless America!
ANYHOO… Awards season is in full peacocking frenzy, and Oscar nominations were announced this morning. Stay tuned over the next few weeks for reviews of the movies I’ve seen. [Including the one(s) I tried to watch and couldn’t get through!]
Here are my top takeaways and headlines from today — or just scroll down to see the nominations in the top categories.
1. Riz Ahmed has Prince Harry looking for a job.
The nominees were announced by Riz Ahmed — who until this morning I completely forgot has an ENGLISH ACCENT [*swoon*] — and Nepo-Baby-Who-Admits-Her-Privilege-and-Is-Allowed-to-Stay-on-the-Playground Allison Williams.
It was honestly pretty boring except for the part where Riz delivered a line reading of “My Year of Dicks” that probably has Prince Harry screaming, crying, overshadowed once again!
Honestly, let Riz be the new prince.
2. Everything Everywhere All at Once had the most nominations, with 11 total.
Even though I fell asleep during this film, this is so deserved! I may not love off-the-wall art films where people have hot dogs for fingers, but that doesn’t make it a bad FILME WRIT LARGE. It was fresh, gorgeous, unexpected, and new. The cast was unbelievable. As I said of the cast in my initial review, “Give them all Oscars.”
It must be noted that in the past several years, the movie that got the most nominations did NOT end up winning Best Picture…
Can they break the trend!??
3. The big discourse is about the Best Actress nomination for Andrea Riseborough in “To Leslie.”
Ever heard of “To Leslie”? Neither had anyone!! That is, we hadn’t heard of it up until the five-day nomination window when suddenly several A-list actors — including Edward Norton, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Anniston, Kate Winslet, and Melanie Lynsky — suddenly started promoting it. Often tweeting nearly identical tweets about “a small film with a giant heart.”
Turns out, allegedly, that the puppet master behind it all was an actress named Mary McCormack, who is married to the movie’s director, and who basically contacted every famous person she knows to ask them to watch the film, and essentially created what some have called a “Veep B-plot” of machinations and under-the-table networking.
That doesn’t mean Riseborough wasn’t amazing. Apparently, the film is about “a single West Texas mother struggling to provide for her son when she wins the lottery and a chance at a good life,” and mostly, her performance is intense screaming. Which, as a person with roots in Texas, feels a little bit… gag!??? A little bit like the Hollywood elite romanticizing and stratifying Southern people?
But all that aside…did no one see The Woman King?? Or Till? We’re all wondering how Viola Davis and Danielle Deadwyler didn’t get the nomination instead of Andrea or, for that matter, Ana de Armas, which leads me to my NEXT section….
4. Ana de Armas deserves better, and so does the Best Actress category.
Blonde was worse than bad. And Ana de Armas was not “a great performance in a bad film.” And it’s not that she’s a bad actress because honestly, make her the new James Bond posthaste! But she was just bad in this movie. She was complicit. It was unbearable to watch lol, sorry to Colin Farrell, who apparently loved it.
The fact that she was nominated here isn’t just a joke, it also comes at the expense of Viola Davis for Woman King or Danielle Deadwyler for Till, both of which were incredible roles.
Everyone deserves better than this! Humankind deserves better!
5. Crowd Pleasers are finally getting their just deserts. [Or INjust! you decide!]
That’s right, the Fast and Furious + Blue Planet mashup written by third-graders new Avatar movie got nominated as one of the BEST PICTURES of the YEAR, as did Top Gun: Maverick!
Honestly, I respect the game, but Nope and The Woman King are RIGHT THERE!?!?!??? They are both enjoyable films and Oscar-worthy??
Oh well. Somebody [Ben] is gonna get in the comments and tell me Top Gun deserves to be here and how dare I say any different. And you know what, maybe it does.
6. BRIAN TYREE HENRY!!!!!!!
He got his first Oscar nom!! FINALLY!!! Since first watching him amble down the hot streets of Atlanta as Paper Boi, we’ve loved Brian Tyree Henry. He already should’ve been nominated in 2019 for his very brief but very mind-boggling performance in If Beale Street Could Talk. But I’m glad he got it for Causeway, which was a quiet, indelible film that I talked about at length last November.
He was also the best part of Bullet Train and made Brad Pitt look like an intern.
7. Rihanna AND Lady Gaga will likely perform! Taylor Swift will not!
RiRi is following in JLo’s Super-Bowl-Halftime-Show-to-Oscar-Hopeful footsteps. She was nominated for her single “Lift Me Up” from Black Panther, which I have listened to 1,000+ times.
Gaga is nominated for her single “Hold My Hand” from Top Gun: Maverick, a movie which Las Culturistas called “That Lady Gaga music video.” Ben has listened to this song 1,000+ times.
Taylor Swift was notably NOT nominated for her swamp-murder-lady-movie single “Carolina,” and all I can say is that’s what you get for helping a murder lady! [Also, every time this song comes on my “This is Taylor Swift” Spotify playlist, I let out an annoyed “hmph” and skip it. It’s not good.]
Most likely to win in this category is “Naatu Naatu” from the Indian film RRR. I am about to be the most toxic white girl you ever knew, but the group chat with all my Indian-American friends seemed to consensus that they were not very into this movie and that it was a bit racist towards Muslims, and so I didn’t watch it. But, as a person whose favorite movie was once Lagaan, I think I might still need to check it out.
8. The “Lydia Tar is Real” meme just keeps meming.
Let’s make one thing abundantly clear. Tár is about a fictional composer named Lydia Tár. But the internet has had an absolutely tremendous time pretending Cate Blanchett’s performance is based on a real person who exists/existed/will exist in the real world.
Thus, @LydiaTarReal is thanking her real followers for her real nomination.
She’s not real, but Cate Blanchett’s unstoppable talent sure is!!!
List of Top Nominations
I know you can Google this list, but look at me delivering it to your inbox like a sexy young milkman!!
Best Picture Noms
[Stay tuned for my extremely pedestrian and short-attention-spanned reviews of each of these!]
“All Quiet on the Western Front”
“Avatar: The Way of Water”
“The Banshees of Inisherin”
“Elvis”
“Everything Everywhere All at Once”
“The Fabelmans”
“Tár”
“Top Gun: Maverick”
“Triangle of Sadness”
“Women Talking”
Best Director Noms
Martin McDonagh, “The Banshees of Inisherin”
Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
Steven Spielberg, “The Fabelmans”
Todd Field, “Tár”
Ruben Östlund, “Triangle of Sadness”
Best Actress Noms
Cate Blanchett, “Tár”
[She won in 2014 for Blue Jasmine, which I know I watched but cannot remember at all except for some scene vaguely near a pool? Also, the primary men attached to that movie were Woody Allen, Alec Baldwin, and Louis CK, so wow, some stuff has changed since 2014, I GUESS.]
Ana de Armas, “Blonde”
[I also blame the MEN for THIS!!]
Andrea Riseborough, “To Leslie”
Michelle Williams, “The Fabelmans”
Michelle Yeoh, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
[She’s my pick because Cate already has her Oscar.]
Best Supporting Actress Noms
Angela Bassett, “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever”
[mother!]
Hong Chau, “The Whale”
[also amazing in The Menu!]
Kerry Condon, “The Banshees of Inisherin”
[deserved!]
Jamie Lee Curtis, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
[wonderful, not an Oscar-winning role, but wonderful]
Stephanie Hsu, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
[again, I fell asleep during this movie but one of the things I said before slumber was, “Wow, this girl is soooo good, isn’t she, Ben!?” I did not hear his answer as I was asleep.]
Best Actor Noms
Austin Butler, “Elvis”
[It took me four separate sittings to get through this MESS of a movie, but Austin Butler was in GOD MODE!! My review to come!]
Colin Farrell, “The Banshees of Inisherin”
[Do not let this man get old without his Oscar!]
Brendan Fraser, “The Whale”
[My opinion is held until I see this film, but the idea of it — poor old fat man?? — sort of gives me hives.]
Paul Mescal, “Aftersun”
[All I know about Paul is that he became the Internet’s boyfriend after showing his p*n*s in Normal People, and his top People Also Ask on Google is “Does Paul Mescal have a gf?”]
Bill Nighy, “Living”
[Never heard of it! Sounds like it’s about death!]
Best Supporting Actor Noms
Brendan Gleeson, “Banshees of Inisherin”
Brian Tyree Henry, “Causeway”
Judd Hirsch, “The Fabelmans”
Barry Keoghan, “The Banshees of Inisherin”
Ke Huy Quan, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
That’s it! I hope this envigorated your mid-week — enjoy the rest of your week, and see you on the weekend!
Elvis was a bit of a mess at times, but Austin Butler should run away with the Best Actor award just for these scenes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Vttu01H10
Oy vey! Of all the best picture noms, I’ve only seen Top Gun Maverick!! And of all the Oscar hoopla you covered, the thing I’m excited about is Rihanna and Gaga performing! 😂 I have lost all my movie creds this year — if I ever had any.