I See Your Tiger King and Raise You Chimp Queen
Plus: Venice Film Festival, Ted Lasso, and the Paralympics!
Rings of Power Season 2 is out! I want to hear if you care! I’m watching the new episodes tomorrow with friends, so I don’t have a review yet, but I might throw together a combo House of the Dragon finale rant and Rings of Power premiere review soon. Fantasy Girl Fall, babes!
Happy September, folks! The doldrums of August are exiting stage left, ushering in that autumny sense that you’re returning to the form of an innocent child on the windswept moors and somehow also an old lady knitting by the fire. [Neither of which you have ever actually been!]
Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte™️ has already upstaged the Summer-Berry Refresher™️ — earlier than ever, I might add — and your local Trader Joe’s is on the verge of its annual cosplay as Stars Hollow from Gilmore Girls. Every straight man you know is at this very moment releasing a sigh of otherworldly contentment that sounds a lot like the word “Football.” It’s nearly fall.
But also, it’s 85 degrees and humid. You’re drinking a pumpkin beer while you sweat at the barbecue. Ah, Labor Day weekend.
So, let’s hear it: Are you, like my sister said to me yesterday, Not ready for fall because look at the beautiful green leaves I can’t bear saying goodbye to yet? Or are you, like me, speedily morphing into a cozy ball of yarn?
In the News
🎞️ The Venice Film Festival is here! Two reasons to pay attention:
The Venice Film Festival is sort of the kickoff to awards season: Eight of the past 12 best director awards at the Oscars were for a film that debuted at Venice. The movies premiering at Venice might be films you’ve never heard of — but five months from now, you will be absolutely sick of the discourse about them.
Glitz! Glam! Fashion!! On top of drool-worthy red carpet formals, celebs are also showing up in their best “I’m on a gondola in Venice trying to look unbothered” lewks. Remember FloPugh in that purple set and Aperol spritz last year? Venice! Perfecto!
⚽️ Ted Lasso is coming back for another season—ALLEGEDLY. Some of the leading cast members have been tied to a potential return: Hannah Waddingham (who plays Rebecca), Brett Goldstein (Roy Kent), and Jeremy Swift (Higgins).
That’s a solid “meh” from me. This is like the spiritual opposite of an encore: coming back for another season after kinda promising we were really and truly done, and none of us were clapping. We were already in line for the bathroom out in the lobby, babe. Nobody wants this!
The one cast member who’s pretty certain not to return? Phil Dunster, who plays Jamie Tartt — i.e. the only character with a remotely interesting narrative arc in the third season. Whomp whomp. He has a scheduling conflict because of a much better-sounding show: The Devil’s Hour, led by Steven Moffat (Doctor Who, Sherlock).
I am the opposite of “meh” for this!!! Ben and I are major Peaky-heads/Peakies/Peakans, and I cannot wait for this movie next year.
Watching: Chimp Crazy on HBO
If you thought while watching this trailer, “Is that the voice of acclaimed British thespian Alan Cumming, speaking of his love for chimpanzees?!” Yes, yes it is!! And let me assure you that Alan Cumming being an integral part of a documentary about an illegal chimp-selling market, is not even close to the craziest thing about this story.
Eric Goode, the director of the wildly viral 2020 documentary Tiger King, went undercover to make this documentary about a group of people who keep chimps as pets. [Alan Cumming is NOT one of those.] The woman it focuses on, Tonia Haddix, calls herself the “Dolly Parton of chimps” and openly says she loves her chimps more than her own natural-born children who, she says, “grow up and leave you,” unlike chimps who do not. [Presumably, because they live in cages, TONIA.]
Y’all, it is CRAZY.
I have long thought that chimpanzees demarcate a stark line through humanity: People who love chimps on one side and people who are totally freaked out by them on the other. You either understand what magnificent, fascinating creatures chimpanzees are, or you think they’re gross and terrifying. There is no in-between. [Don’t try to tell me you “think they’re sort of cute but don’t have an opinion.” YOU HAVE AN OPINION.] I’m sorry to say I’m in the latter camp. To me, a monkey’s face is an uncanny valley from which the human psyche cannot return.1 I do feel a little bad about that.
But back to the show: It’s about the first type of person, obviously. Alan Cumming is one such person who has fallen in love with chimps and is normal about it. Tania is a person who has fallen in love with chimps and is absolutely f**king bonkers about it.
I must warn you: If you watch this show, you will see people kiss chimps open-mouthed. You will learn about the chimp that ate that lady’s face in 2009 [inspiring the beautifully horrific Jordan Peele film NOPE]. You will see a lot of chimpanzee butts. Needless to say, I can’t watch this show while eating.
But you will also be SWEPT into the discomfiting tide of this story about people who seem very unwell and somehow are trying to heal that unwellness with chimpanzees. It’s heartbreaking and hilarious in equal measure. [The Zoom trial, in particular, had me howling with laughter.] It’s a true crime with the most outlandish characters you’ve ever encountered. Each episode so far has ended on a cliffhanger that had me actually screaming in my apartment.
It really is Tiger King but with chimps.
Only three episodes are out so far, so you can catch up and watch with me! You’ll know within the first 90 seconds if this show is for you or not.
The Paralympics on Peacock
Don’t forget that your Olympics withdrawal can be pushed off a whole week more. The Paralympics opened in Paris on Wednesday and go through this whole week!
Remember when Tara Davis-Woodhall won Olympic gold and ran over to her husband, who lifted her into the stands and kept shouting, “Oh my God, baby, you’re the Olympic champion!” like a perfect husband written in a storybook??
Well, it’s his turn to compete and her/our turn to be the perfect husband!!
My friend over at Being Human is Hard wrote a helpful rundown:
The Paralympics are not the same as the Special Olympics. The Special Olympics is for athletes with intellectual disabilities. The Paralympics focus on six main disability categories, which include: "amputee, cerebral palsy, intellectual disability, visually impaired, spinal injuries and Les Autres (French for "the others," a category that includes conditions that do not fall into the categories mentioned before)."
Just because you can’t see a disability doesn’t mean an athlete doesn’t have one, and they don’t have to share their medical histories.
But also don’t let “feeling uneducated” stop you from watching and supporting! I liked what Hunter Woodhall himself posted recently to remind everyone to watch and find joy and cry and be inspired by sport again:
That’s all for this week, folks! Thanks so much for reading and engaging; it’s the best! Drop a heart or a comment to help me grow, or share this with someone who might enjoy.
[When I was three years old, some monkeys at the Baton Rouge Zoo threw poop at my family, so I guess me and the monkeys were doomed from the start. There’s a video of my parents asking me and my sister, “What does the monkey say?” and we say “Poo-poo.”]
Sergei and I DIED at your opening paragraph about fall. It’s so accurate. 🤣🤣🤣
That Hunter Woodall quote. 😭😭😭