"KateGate" and some (hopefully rational) thoughts
A video explainer and takeaways about the nonstop frenzy
[If you click on the Instagram post below, it will take you to Instagram and you’ll see a warning blocking out the picture: “Altered photo/video.” I talk about that in my video, which you can scroll down to access.]
In an early scene in It’s a Wonderful Life, one of my favorite films of all time [Yes, I do acknowledge its many flaws, and—I cannot emphasize this enough—I do not care!], a cranky observer yells, after watching two young people flirt all night and quaintly never kiss: “Youth is wasted on the wrong people!”
Reader, I fear that can be said of me tonight. Or perhaps, because I am no longer the youth: “Vegas is wasted on the wrong people.”
Here I sit, in Sin City, curled up in my hotel room with a can two cans of wine and some whatever-the-level-below-subpar-is room service, neither Sinning nor City-ing.
I’ve been working from sun up to sun down on March Madness stuff [You can follow our coverage here! Also: Geaux Tigers!] and did not get ahead of my schedule enough to make dinner reservations anywhere. I did TRY to get a table-for-one at a nice restaurant [Ben is busy conference-eventing, which is why we’re here], but all the restaurants where I wanted to eat were hosting private events, and I wasn’t about to try the food at Wings ‘N Slots.
So here I am, defeated, but honestly, also: Happy. Who doesn’t enjoy a night to themselves in a hotel with room service?? Even if that room service looks like it came from a school cafeteria!
Anyways, I am really here to address the Royal Elephant in the room: “KateGate.”
Revisiting the Kate Middleton Frenzy
What I chose to spend my night doing instead of gambling degenerately is gossiping degenerately: Making an explainer video [finally!] on all the Kate Middleton drama.
I say “gossip,” but my take is a lot less gossipy and a lot more Victorian-Grandmary-clutching-her-pearls-and-exclaiming-that-everybody-should-mind-their-own-business! You really do live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
Here’s what we DO know: That something serious has happened to Kate. Even the official story is that she had an abdominal surgery, which is serious enough.
Here’s what I ultimately think: The media frenzy is toxic. I don’t necessarily believe anything coming from “The Firm,” but I think the reality is probably sad, difficult, perhaps troubling, and none of our business.1
Whatever happened, their PR team needs to be fired. Every move has felt like a self-dunk, an unforced error, a classic blunder. Someone call Tree Paine.
As a person who doesn’t generally vibe with conspiracies but also feels like, “If we find out the moon landing was faked, I would only be 0.01% surprised,” I totally hold space for the idea that something ABSOLUTELY BONKERS is afoot. [For example, I am not convinced that the video from Monday is really of Kate. ]
But for now, we’re still in the space where they’ve asked us to respect her recovery —they announced a surgery in late January and said she wouldn’t be in public until Easter — EASTER, people! I feel like we owe it, if not to the Royals at least to Princess Diana’s memory, to take a beat before we whip their private lives into our own personal entertainment.
And of course, if you’re like “WTF are you talking about, I’ve missed all of this”: Here is a video explainer of the entire Kate Middleton drama fiasco — a video that will absolutely embarrass me if it turns out the Lizard People have really taken Kate away.
I think the public’s relentless insistence that they must, therefore, be romantically involved really misses the point: That what could be better than finding a new bestie in your 70s, with whom you can go to dinner and a show and set the town’s tongue’s wagging? And maybe, just maybe, fall in love a little bit.
I wish this for everyone I love. I wish this for you, Dear Reader.
Thanks so much for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts on “KateGate,” the Royals, the state of our frenzied celebrity news culture, March Madness, Las Vegas, Meryl and Martin or just anything!
Though I acknowledge that the Royals have in some ways chosen a public life and that this very family [The William/Kate’s] likely helped make Meghan’s life a living hell when she was still involved.
I don't know... I'm kinda living for the romcom pairing of Meryl and Martin. It wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, that's for sure.