Ranking the Most F***ed Up Things That Happened in House of the Dragon Episode 4
We #MeToo'ed for THIS!?!?!?
*Content warning for incest and rape. Yikes. Truly sorry for the decisions that have led me here. Please come back later if you are not comfortable.*
You can have all the political power, financial power, and firepower — but incest will get you every time.
-Ben, Sunday night, about the Targaryens
Hello, friends! Four Days of our Lord have passed since the 4th episode of House of the Dragon — “King of the Narrow Sea” — and it is time to do what the youth group calls a “heart check.”
How we doing? Has the trauma abated? Have you taken enough Silly Little Walks™️ to rid your mind of what happened during the sinewy orgy, aka Live Reproduction of a Medieval Painting of Hell, on the Street of Silk???
I sincerely hope so! But I am here to bring it all back! I’M SORRY!!! But here we are! And for those of us who are stupidly bravely going forth to continue with this show — we must process together before the next episode!
This week, no one on House of the Dragon deserved a power ranking. They’re all going to hell for what they did! [I kid! I don’t believe it Hell anymore, you can text me about that separately! But by gosh this show might change my mind!]
This week, in lieu of power rankings, we are instead…
Ranking the Most F***ed Up Things About #HotD Episode 4
It’s going to be tough! One time my friend Eliza showed me a text from her mom that said, “I don’t know where I fall on the prude scale, but….”
Readers, I have never felt more understood in my life! I don’t know where I fall on the prude scale, but that episode was too much for my constiTOOtion!!
And yet, the longer I sit with it, the more I’m like, “They have succeeded at making many fair points…none of which are flattering to humanity…but ain’t that the truth?”
So anyhoo, we’ve got seven rankings this week, from worst to also the worst!!
#1 Everyone in the ENTIRE WORLD confusing non-consensual encounters with sex??
Sex Ed, you have, unsurprisingly, FAILED US!!!
A lot of “sex” was “had” in this episode, but not a bit of it was consensual! Children, let’s be clear: That means it is NOT SEX. Like can we please stop with this??? It’s like calling drowning “swimming”!! Forced intercourse is not sex!!!! GTFO!!!!!!!
Okay, so now that we have THAT squared away…
WTF is wrong with the entire world!?!?!? The worst part of this episode was finishing the episode, getting online, and seeing people shipping Rhaenyra and Daemon!?? They even have a couple name????? Daemyra????????
#2 Daemon + Rhaenyra
I’m gonna sound bad here for a minute but hear me out.
It’s not so much the incest that bothers me. [HEAR ME OUT.] It’s the sexual grooming and abuse of it all. Like, the Lannister Twincest was extremely icky, but at least it was two adults of the same age giving full consent!?? Rhaenyra may technically be “of age” [she’s 19 or 20], but the gap in age and experience between her and Daemon is a gross power differential, not to mention the fact he’s clearly been grooming her for years!?? Am I wrong??
Okay, let’s back up. It was clear from the first moment we met Daemon that he had some weird shit going on with Rhaenyra. We also already know that the Targaryens are famous for “thoroughbredding” — aka marrying sibs/cousins to keep the magic dragon shit in the fam. And we also know that all this incest is leading to the actual “Mad King” who burns the city to the ground. We know this isn’t a story about “the good guys.” It’s Succession but with dragons plus a soap opera plot.
But I kind of hoped the incest of it all would wait until Rhaenyra was MORE GROWN!??!??? Like, wait until we get the grown-up actress!
Do you think the necklace gift was: 1) grooming, 2) familial affection, 3) incest affection, 4) all of the above?
#3 Rhaenyra Lying on Her Mother’s Grave!
She literally swore on the memory of her mother that Daemon never touched her!??? Rhaeny really had me second-guessing What My Own Eyes Saw!! She had me thinking “Maybe I don’t understand FILME.” She had me wondering, “Is this a dream sequence!??”
Kids, that’s gaslighting!!!!!
#4 The King + Alicant
NOPE. I don’t know what the filmmakers were trying to do with the way they intercut the scenes of Rhaney and Daemon in the sex dungeon with scenes of Alicant getting marital raped by Viserys?
These are the two options I imagine the producers might have been thinking:
A compare/contrast of one young woman taking pleasure in sex [Rhaeny] vs. another young woman [Alicant] experiencing sex as violence to just get through.
A parallel picture of two young women being used by the men around them. A Thelma & Louise-style tableaux saying to us, “All men, of every kind, are MONSTERS!!!!”
I hope it was the second, honestly.
Anyways, Viserys actually had an excellent episode, I HATE to say. If we were doing power rankings — which we’re not, because again, everyone is going straight to hell — Viserys would have won this week, horrifically enough.
But the scene of him with his gross sores and his rape of Alicant, whether he understands what he’s doing or not, is a hard no. Definitely f***ed up and tough to watch.
One important note: A big change from Game of Thrones is that these scenes really felt like they were from the woman’s perspective. None of the violence was titillating, none of it was sexy. It was clear that what was happening was appalling and gross. I appreciated that.
#5 Rhaeny + Criston
After finishing this episode, I sent out a plea on Instagram for people to help me process. One of my therapist friends, Ashley, texted:
Ugh the grooming and then her going and pulling the power move on Ser Criston even if he did love her anyways, STOP THE GENERATIONAL CYCLES STAAAAAAHHHPPPP!
Honestly, I rest my case? Ashley said it all!!
What happened with Criston was NOT consensual. He was so clearly uncomfortable, whether or not he wanted it. And Rhaeny was so grossly oblivious — JUST LIKE HER DAD WITH ALICANT!??!! — to the dramatic power difference between them and how she was basically asking him to risk his life and his station.
Remember: The “white cloak” involves a vow to celibacy, which is why it was such a big deal when she made Criston take it off, and he folded it so carefully. 😩 Justice for Ser Criston!
[But on Rhaeny’s side, trauma begets trauma, y’all. Daemon is the bad guy here.]
#6 Otto being a dirty snitch and pretending to have “journalistic integrity”!??!
Listen. Did someone need to tell Viserys what was going on? YES. And do I love that it was Daemon’s old girlfriend Mysaria who turned out to be the “White Worm” with spies all over the city [much like Varys in Game of Thrones!]??YES!!
But Otto sucks and I hate that it was him. I also hate his stupid little *sigh* before he went to the king with his stupid little gossip as if he wasn’t literally loving every second of it!
It felt really good when Viserys threw “You think yourself a cunning man?” at that guy! And Rhaeny had the brains to say “Cut him out!” And Viserys fired him! Although I am now worried about what he will do on the loose!
#7 The King Making Fun of Alicant in front of Daemon & Rhaenyra [“the tapestries!”]!???
Can someone punch this man??? I keep saying Viserys had a good episode, but man, his shit with Alicant is SO ABUSIVE.
A Few Final (More Positive?) Notes
The show’s producers said before it aired that it would not depict “explicit violence against women” — meaning graphic rape scenes like in Game of Thrones.
There are many ‘historical’ or history-based shows that romanticize powerful men in sexual/marriage relationships with women who were actually not of an age to consent, even if they were ‘willing.’ We put that onscreen, and we don’t shy away from the fact that our female leads in the first half of the show are coerced and manipulated into doing the will of adult men. This is done not necessarily by those we would define as rapists or abusers, but often by generally well-meaning men who are unable to see that what they are doing is traumatic and oppressive, because the system that they all live in normalizes it. It’s less obvious than rape but just as insidious, though in a different way.
—Writer and Executive Producer Sarah Hess
To me, that feels a touch like splitting hairs. But it is different. The marital rape between the king and Alicant is gross — not titillating, not “porny.” The scene with Daemon is hard to even see, and it’s repulsive, too.
I appreciate that HotD is making SOME effort to tell the same kinds of stories, but through a different lens. However, I’m not sure about whether it’s actually worth it.
The whole episode was cringe and im tired of the series using “historical context” to use rape, incest, and grooming to move their story lines. It’s a make believe world with dragons!!!! ITS NOT REAL!
That being said, Sarah Hess’s defense is deplorable:
“This is done not necessarily by those we would define as rapists or abusers, but often by generally well-meaning men who are unable to see that what they are doing is traumatic and oppressive, because the system that they all live in normalizes it. It’s less obvious than rape but just as insidious, though in a different way.”
They are rapists. Not calling for their beheading but it doesn’t matter if they are “well-meaning” (what even does that mean?!?!?!) and that the sexual violence “less obvious” ( TO WHOM SARAH?! TO WHOM?!?!??)
I was over GOT when John got the crown and Daenarys/Khaleesi went mad. GOT has great world building, awesome CGI and cinematography, but it feels like the writers are trying to make “fetch” happen, except “fetch” is child grooming, incest, the sexual coercion, and rape.
The acting is also terrible hahaha. In summation, I’m watching - but only so i can bitch about how awful it is.
Amazing power ranking this week. Rounds of applause and standing ovations. Thanks for writing these and validating my emotions hahaha
Ooooo your section on Rhaenyra and Criston… 🥺🥺🥺