Squid Game, SNL, & What Scary Movies Scarred You for Life

What I'm Reading, Watching, & Listening To This Week

Sometimes these posts are a bit long for an email, so you can read on the site! You can see all past posts and topics there, too.

Hello, dear Reader. First of all, I just want to say thank you for the love you’ve sent and shared over the past couple of weeks. As a recovering Enneagram 2, I don’t always have the easiest time accepting that I need support. It means so much to have it.

On to the regular post. :)

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It’s scary season! Judging from the fact that some of you refuse to watch even a NON-SCARY, FRIENDLY vampire show, I gather this isn’t a 100% “down for scares” crowd. And I can respect that! I watched The Grudge far too young! But it’s October and I do love a little scary TV. So, in order to accomodate all tastes, in place of “Listening,” I have two “Watching” sections this week — one for fun, one for scares.

In the meantime, Dear Reader, I want to know: What’s the scary movie YOU watched too young and that scarred you for life???

For me, there are two. The Grudge, which we watched in youth group which makes ZERO SENSE, and—years before that—E.T. which technically isn’t a scary movie but spiritually IT IS. When you’re five, the adults are like “ET is nice!” but you can see he’s obviously a swamp monster shaped like a melted doll! And yet even though you want him to go away, you’re also scared of the men in hazmat suits trying to TAKE him away! It’s confusing! And terrifying!

So yes, welcome to Scary Season. [You may have noticed how awkward I’m being saying “scary” instead of “spooky” but honestly the word spooky got comandeered by racists for a few decades there and just doesn’t feel worth it right now??]

In the News

• Did you know that October 31st is the last day of tracking for “Spotify Wrapped”? That’s right, you have exactly 23 days to fix your public image!! Time to shut down KIDZ BOP and put on some lesbian singer-songwriters! Good luck!

• The new James Bond movie premiered last week in London and the. red. carpet. photos!!! I may have slept through the last three Bond films but I DO NOT sleep through FA$HION!!!! We had velvet. We had sequins. We had jumpsuits. And, most of all, we had Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton giving us YOUR FUTURE QUEEN HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING (!!).

• Andrew Lloyd Webber—famed person with too many “b”s in his last name—also composer of Cats and every musical you cried over when you were 12—broke his silence on the Cats movie, saying that he hated the film SO MUCH he literally became a DOG PERSON. Kind of rude, honestly.

• You can now subscribe to Taco Bell and get one free taco per month which feels like confirmation Idiocracy is real and everything is garbage. But honestly if the Cinnamon Twists were free, I would do it. Which item from the Taco Bell menu would entice you to become a subscriber? [Secretly for me it would also be the Pintos and Cheese, but that’s dangerous for social engagements.]

Watching (Not Scary) - Saturday Night Live!

SNL is back! Which for me, Ben, and approximately two Readers, is fantastic news!

Owen Wilson nailed his monologue, embracing the critique that he has the stage presence of “an old golden retriever laying next to a fire.” To which I say we should BE so lucky to embody a golden retriever cozying up to a fire!! I’m pretty sure that’s what Citizen Kane was getting at with the whole Rosebud thing!! Get better insults, people!

Musical Guest Kacey Musgraves performed in [children, cover your ears] the nude! She was seated and had a guitar in her lap, giving us full-blown Adult Jenny from Forrest Gump. The Internet is taking this as a power move after her painful divorce, but isn’t that scene from Forrest Gump like . . . really f***ing sad?? Anyways.

• Highlights: (1) Pete Davidson insulting his own Met Gala outfit, (2) Ego Nwodim being absolute perfection in every sketch, (3) newcomer James Austin Johnson gifting us with a new and improved Biden impression, and (4) the NFL on Fox sketch.

• Lowlights: (1) Michael Che making an overtly racist/misogynist joke and I’m not even talking about the R Kelly one, and (2) Weekend Update being overall weak and punching down a few too many times. Colin Jost’s joke about depression and dimensia comes to mind. Do better. Be more like Pete.

Watching (Scary) - Midnight Mass & Squid Game

Okay, if you can handle something a little scarier, Ben and I are watching two scary shows simultaneously this week! [And yes, it IS affecting our mental health, thanks for asking! We are wound as tight as lids on pickle jars!! To the point I’m starting to hallucinate mice running over my feet, more on that next week maybe!!!]

Midnight Mass

Remember The Haunting of Hill House, the 2018 Netflix show by Mike Flanagan that kept an entire nation awake at night dreading the Bent-Neck Lady? If you like haunted house stories, I highly recommend. It WILL make you afraid of the dark, though, gua-ran-teed. Then in 2020, Flanagan released The Haunting of Bly Manor, which had the same character-driven, thematically complex literary quality that Hill House did, although it didn’t stick the landing well.

Now Netflix has bestowed the third in Mike Flanagan’s “haunted” anthology — Midnight Mass, and it’s really different from the first two, but might be the best of the three?? It isn’t a ghost story like the others and it’s not as scary, but it is still creepy and mysterious, something like a Steven King. It’s also a theological show — and will probably fascinate anyone with any faith background. It’s campy, creepy, and compelling in a way I can’t stop thinking about. Plus, it stars QB #1 Matt Saracen from Friday Night Lights!!! As a very handsome and muscle-y grown man!

Also you are not ready for the end of Episode 5!!!!

Squid Game

If you are somehow not aware of this, approximately everyone is watching Squid Game. The world outside your home is divided into two camps:

1. People who loved Squid Game.

2. People who want to love Squid Game but can’t watch it because they got queasy.

Kate Halliwell @katehalliwell

everyone i've ever met: squid game is the most fucked up thing i've ever seen haha watch it

Here’s what you need to know, without any real spoilers:

It’s a TV show from South Korea about people who are down on their luck and enter a mysterious game show with the promise of a huge cash prize. It’s a brilliant study of people and a critique of modern culture.

You should also know it’s very much in the tradition of shows like Black Mirror or movies like Parasite and it gets very, very dark and very, very violent. Let me repeat myself in case you didn’t hear: IT’S VERY VIOLENT. I cannot emphasize enough that you will see so much blood. You will see innards, people, and you will see them with your own eyeballs! In fact, you will see eyeballs!

You might be wondering: Why would anyone watch this? Uhm, because it’s amazing. The character development is WOW — you feel like you know them, like you ARE them! Every episode is a puzzle! It’s so addicting! BUT I HAVE NOT FINISHED IT, SO DON’T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT YET. I have a feeling the end is going to be straight-up HORRIFIC.

Anyhoo, if you liked Black Mirror, I would venture to say you’ll love this. [If you watch, I recommend using subtitles instead of the English dubbed version.]

Reading

I Don’t Know How to Tell This Story - by Cecily Strong, in Vulture

One of our best comedians right now writes about grief. She also wrote a book but I haven’t read it yet.

Speaking of grief again, this week, one of you [thanks, Megan!] shared with me an analogy for grief that I had never heard before, called the Ball and the Box. It explains why we can get hit with fresh grief even after time has passed. Read about it here if you’re interested. <3

That’s all for this week, and love you all. I’d love to hear from you in the comments!