White Lotus Finale Reactions

And all the funniest Tweets!

*MAJOR SPOILERS* Also, this post is too long for email because I shared a lot of funny Tweets at the bottom, and they take up SPACE, just like Mia taught Valentina!!!

Aubrey Plaza’s face is me when I saw Portia’s last—and worst—outfit.

First of all, here is a clip of Daphne (Meghann Fahy) singing “O Holy Night” with Matt Rogers at Vulture Fest that reifies Christmas Magic. Give Meghann Fahy every role from now unto eternity!! Amen.

Now….

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT FINALE!??

Jeyson Paez @jeysonpaez

i mean, they told us who… #whitelotus

I really want to know! Were you surprised? Who did you think would die? Who did you think would do the murder?

Can we all appreciate the fact that last night at 8:00 p.m. EST — an hour before the finale started — I typed out on my little computer: “Will Jennifer Coolidge do an oopsie murder?”

AND I WAS RIGHT!!!! Kind of? Without further ado, I am going to structure this post thuswise:

1. My Winner of White Lotus

2. My Loser of White Lotus

3. My Burning Questions I Need You to Weigh In On

4. A whole f*ckton of Tweet reactions I have culled from the World Wide Web

Who Won White Lotus Season 2

These three frames will go down in acting schools for decades to come.

While watching this scene between Daphne and Ethan, I frantically whipped out my phone because I knew: ACTING HISTORY IS BEING MADE.

Daphne has been my favorite character from episode 1, and she never let me down. The power that she has!! She is dappled sunshine with the deepest sadness and vengeance and grit and twisted darkness undergirding it all.

Love you, Meghann Fahy!

Runners Up:

• Problematic Grandpa [j’adore!]

• Problematic Dad [tragic!]

• Lucia and Mia!!! [belissima!]

Look at me, ready to die for these problematic men!

Who Lost White Lotus Season 2

Don’t look now, it’s Gen Z Garden State

Y’all knew I was gonna say Portia!! She really got into the car, SHUT the DOOR, and CONFRONTED her kidnapper!??!? Has she never lived a single day on Earth as a HUMAN WOMAN!?? Portia, honey, we cannot HELP you! We raise our hands and give you to GOD!!!

Nothing else needs to be said but if I have any Portia fans out there, please raise your hand and explain to us, your sisters, in the comments!

lana schwartz @_lanabelle

they would have eaten her alive

All My Unanswered Questions

My face right now.

1. What do you think Daphne and Ethan did on the island?

I think they f****d. Duh. But I am interested in the argument that they didn’t and just needed to bring mystery in a meta way to us as the viewer.

I like the idea we don’t “KNOW.”

[But we know.]

2. Does Cameron know the baby isn’t his?

Most of Reddit believes that the teeth-brushing scene—with Daphne calling him to come to say hi to the Child That Isn’t His and him rolling his eyes and dragging his hoeing feet—PROVED that Cameron KNOWS.

But the more I think about it, the more I feel like he’s way too self-obsessed and ego-driven to really grapple with that thought. Maybe it’s at the periphery of his consciousness, but he doesn’t have certainty. And that’s part of Daphne’s dark power.

I found someone who agrees with me.

Bolu Babalola 🍯&🌶 @BeeBabs

the fan theory saying Cameron knows the kid is not his is annoying me sorry😭that man has a huge ego, is arrogant,1 00% a hypocrite with a fragile grasp on his own masculinity do you really think a man like him would knowingly RAISE another man's child? bffr! #TheWhiteLotus

3. What was Tanya’s death for you? Satisfying? Disappointing? Upsetting??

Okay, I have gone IN DEPTH on this with my friend Darrell and I feel like we’re gonna get ate up [not in a good way] about this, but: TANYA GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HER???????

😶‍🌫️🥶😶😬

I’m sorry, but how did the ENTIRE White Lotus-loving WORLD go to sleep and forget what Tanya did to BELINDA!?!? Tanya is the WORST!! I mean, she didn’t deserve to die but still.

I do have sad affection for her. She is almost incapable of having any awareness of what the rest of us are aware of every day. She is, in the words of the creator Mike White, “derpy.” She’s sad and lonely. But she’s also a little boring to me. I’m about to make more enemies, but I feel the same way about Tanya’s scenes in Season 2 as I do about Hagrid's scenes in Harry Potter. Like, “Cute but boring.” And hilarious!

The way she died was kind of perfect. Our girl didn’t even take off her shoes!

But I know some people are like, “Hm, the ending was a bit of a cop out.” What do you think?

4. How Many Dates Will Albie & Portia Have?

I give it exactly one (1).

5. Did Grandpa Bert really think their visit to the ancestral homestead was a dream?

He comes out to breakfast and says he had a weird dream about visiting their family and it was just a bunch of banshees.

And, sure, the man is concussed, so maybe he really didn’t remember! Or — is this another variation on the show’s theme of Choosing to Believe What You Have to To Survive? [see: Daphne.]

6. Is Niccoló Ugly?

The answer to this is decidedly YES and these gays and girls need to STOP.

7. Will the people who escaped the yacht eventually lead investigators back to Greg?

There’s also a wild fan theory — because of a quirk of subtitles — that Greg actually showed up on the yacht and is one of the people Tanya shot. But I wonder if a reveal like that would wait an entire season… I don’t find it convincing, but the subtitles thing IS crazy….

wdydttm @cfdilley

Did anyone else notice in the Unpacking the Episode for the #WhiteLotus finale that when they showed this b-roll, Greg’s voice and name came up in the subtitles on the yacht???

8. That’s all I can think of right now! Obviously, I’m curious about so many things:

• What will Lucia and Mia do next? May the Lord bless and keep them!

• Do Harper and Ethan stay together and have a better relationship, or fall right back into old habits? [I think they will divorce in two more years.]

• Will Dom get back together with his estranged wife!?? [Pobably not, but maybe he can get Jonah Hill’s therapist!]

• Will Cameron and Daphne eventually fall apart? [Yes.]

I have so many questions! But I want to hear YOURS: What are your unanswered questions, your answers to my questions, your thoughts and emotions? YOUR TURN!

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My Favorite Tweets About the White Lotus Finale

Mike @michaelcollado

#TheWhiteLotus She won.

Antonio Soprano @hayden_petty

Everyone rooting for Tanya to get out like you all don’t remember she broke my girl Belinda’s heart from S1. #WhiteLotus

alex @alex_abads

tanya taking the stairs is 2022’s jack could’ve fit on the door

The Opinion Minion @AnOpinionMinion

This angry, sexually frustrated toast bite was absolute *chef’s kiss* 🤌 #WhiteLotus

Tanya McQuoid, Assassin @EmmaTolkin

Portia… honey… you have gone full Lizzie McGuire. #WhiteLotus

nailah imani @slimmerella_

portia gave us one cute outfit, now she’s back to dressing like a polly pocket doll who lost half her luggage 😭 #WhiteLotus

𝔪𝔢𝔤 @bymeg

portia:

Kathryn VanArendonk @kvanaren

hi it's me, your mom if you ever end up in that situation just put the taxi on your credit card, your father and i will cover it

alex @alex_abads

which feud was more violent: cam v. ethan or portia v. the aesthetics of beauty ?

philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_

Portia and Albie talking to each other in the airport #TheWhiteLotus

Ashley Hesseltine @AshHess

The biggest #WhiteLotus finale plot hole is that $50k was a drop in the bucket but they’re flying @easyJet

gabe bergado @gabebergado

50k for a verse no album out

k. @dozygay

Daphne and Lucia are the strongest characters on #WhiteLotus. They know what this world is, make the most of it, and beat men at their own games.

Cris ✨ @lionesspike

message of white lotus s1: a view into how the machinations of the rich have devastating consequences on locals and the working class the message of white lotus s2: FUCK MEN AND TAKE THEIR MONEY #whitelotus #thewhitelotus

katherine pickhardt @katpickhardt

mia and lucia leaving the white lotus

I a n @mccarroll236

Characters that hate Rocco #WhiteLotus

Jenny Hagel @jennyhagel

Congrats to the first lesbian on TV to have a happy ending #WhiteLotus

Trill Scott-Heron @OldNeoSoul

Valentina showed up to the desk like: #TheWhiteLotus

marce 🧚 @piedepina

the moment the digrasso men are lost to me is when the son let’s go of any notions of caring about his moms best interests just to get 50k to buy his Italian gf. just like that he chooses his fathers path #TheWhiteLotusHBO

Ξvan Ross Katz @evanrosskatz

I hope Daphne had a wonderful massage while everyone else’s lives imploded.

♡ kiran ♡ @_veryspicy

tanya this whole episode #TheWhiteLotus

Dan @dannah__montana

this screenshot will single-handedly destroy twitter #TheWhiteLotus

ziwe @ziwe

tanya blasting her way out of that bedroom #TheWhiteLotus

seth | sunny podcast night 🫣 @gaybatboy

this is so unserious i burst out laughing #TheWhiteLotus

Chris Murphy @christress

Ok who is the one character who comes back for season 3? I vote for a newly divorced Daphne on a girls trip in G’Staad!!

Bye!!!