đŁ Karma is my boyfriend!
Reactions to Taylor Swift's Midnights + Scary Movies That Aren't *Too* Scary
Whoâs ready for HALLOWEEEEEEN!!!
Last winter, I impulse-bought a cheap version of Princess Dianaâs ârevenge dressâ with the hand-waving justification that I would âwear it for Halloween next year.â Readers, I have nowhere to wear it for Halloween! But should I go ahead and buy a Diana wig, too, and just wear it on my couch?? Yes or no, please leave a comment!
Truly, with this weekâs drop of Taylorâs album plus The Crown Season 5 trailer, NOTHING in life is more relevantânay, important!âthan Dianaâs Revenge Dress.
Anyhoo, lately Iâve been indulging in my annual October tradition of reading scary movie plots on Wikipedia. Nothing is more enjoyable or legitimately baffling to me than reading gruesome devil shite in the dry, straightforward language of a weekday grocery list!
The protagonists blandly âobserveâ and calmly âinformâ each other of ghastly rituals and grisly massacres, they leap without any anchoring context from one location [inside the house, at the hospital, in the car] to the next [the playground, the crawlspace under the nursery, the treehouse that is also a witchâs coven!], and they engage in Satanic orgies with a particularly endearing and plodding persistence.
For scaredy-cats like me, Wikipedia is the horror movie gift that keeps on giving. Will I ever watch Hereditary? Likely not! But I sure as hell know how it ends!!
Whether youâre a fellow scaredy-cat or a hardened horror connoisseur, Iâd love to hear your favorite go-to horror films or some of the best ones youâve watched (or read about on Wikipedia!) recently. What qualifies as âgood horrorâ for you?
Watching - The Midnight Club and other scary stuff Iâm not too scared of
As previously discussed, my mind is a temple, and my mental health is a trapeze act, so no, I donât do scary stuff very often. [Hence, the Wikipedia of it all.] But I do enjoy a good horror flick from time to time, and this month, weâve been watching the new Mike Flanagan show, The Midnight Club.
Itâs good so far! Not as good as some of Flanaganâs other Netflix horrors [which Iâll call out below], but still intriguing and not very scary. What I love about Flanaganâs horror is that itâs always about empathy, connection, love, family, fear of loss, shame, and guiltâall the things that [Iâm about to be corny as hell] â¨make us human.⨠Call me Basic, but I appreciate having âa greater meaningâ if Iâm gonna be scared senseless.
Here are a few of my other âscary but not too scaryâ recommendations:
Bodies Bodies Bodies for rent on-demand: Ben and I watched this last night, and it was not scary! But it was quite bloody and stressful, and there were a lot of drugs, so youâve been warned! While it was simple and predictable, it pulled off deliciously clever satire, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Also: Pete Davidson!
Yellowjackets: Some of the most fun Iâve had watching scary TV ever! My review here.
Fresh on Hulu: I recommended Fresh earlier this year: âA shockingly fun horror romp. Itâs kind of Get Out but for women [can I say that?], and has the same fun, vampy, slasher energy of Yellowjackets.â
The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix: Ben and I are big fans of Mike Flanaganâs ongoing Netflix horror serieses. [Series plural?] But the original, Haunting of Hill House, is definitely the best â and scariest.
Midnight Mass on Netflix: Another from Mike Flanaganâs Netflix repertoire that I first reviewed last year. This one has an added layer of religious depth that anyone in or from religion will likely find satisfying.
Archive 81 on Netflix: Ever wondered if that handsome, perfectly-pressed man from Jurassic World Dominion has done anything else ? Here you go! To quote myself, the show is about âa guy who restores old videotapes and starts unraveling what seems to be, in technical terms, some freaky woo-woo demon sh*t.â Fun!
Listening - I mean, obviously, itâs Taylor Swift!
Taylor Swift bravely asks the question: âWhat if we never let ANYTHING go EVER?â Taylorâs Enneagram 4 Wing looks deep into your eyes and whispers, âWhat if we treated feelings as facts?â Taylor gathers us up in her willowy arms and says softly, âTogether, weâll destroy everyone who has ever hurt you.â
Itâs effective!!! And her new album, Midnights . . . has been growing on me? The album sounds to me very much like Reputation and Folklore had a music baby. And to be honest: Iâm a Red Swiftie. Iâm a Dear John Swiftie. Iâm a call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest Swiftie. Iâm still waiting for her to make her next 1989. Taylor pre-2017 is NO SKIPS. Ever since Reputation (2017), in my opinion, letâs just say there have been SOME skips.
But that doesnât even matter! Taylor has achieved that god-like level of success where she can pretty much drop whatever she wants, and the girlies [me!] are gonna lap it right up! And Taylor is nothing if not a MAXIMALIST. I mean, why release one album when you can release three similar ones? Why release 12 original songs when you could release 60+ songs that are derivative of other sad-white-girl-music like Billie Eilish + early 2000s indie bands pretty fun!?
Case in Point: Three hours after dropping her new album Midnights on Friday, she dropped Midnights (3am Edition), which has 7 extra Why-but-also-Why-Not songs!
Second Case in Point: She marketed this album with four unique vinyls that if you buy all four [ofâI cannot emphasize this enoughâthe EXACT SAME SONGS], you can hang them up on your wall like a clock! And to that the fans literally said, âTake all of our money, Taylor!!!!â
All that to say: âKarmaâ is a BOP. And when I sign off Iâll be relistening to âAnti-Hero,â âMaroon,â and âBejeweledâ a [redacted] number of times. âđź
Bake Off Corner - âI am well annoyed!â
Can somebody check on Baking?? I havenât heard from her lately! Baking is absolutely sitting in her bedroom wondering when Bake Off is going to stop ignoring her and start putting her to work! Bakingâs boyfriend is playing video games all day and not speaking to her! Baking is tired of being passed over for tacos, for pizza, for sâmores! THESE THINGS ARE NOT BAKING!!!!
Sâmore about the sâmores: When Paul criticized several of them for beingâand I quoteââmessy,â I turned in my GBBO Union card for good. [Just kidding, I will never stop watching this show.] The British: Letâs take something fun and messy and For Kidsâ˘ď¸ and apply stringent rules and rigid customs upon it! UNIFORMITY! ORDER! MONARCHY!
In the words of my friend Kayla:
That said, this week I did love the Halloween theme, the apple cakes, and the lantern showstoppers â and we got TWO handshakes!
Some takeaways:
I swear, sometimes Paul does a little bump with his morning tea and turns into a cheery, bouncy, handshake slut! Heâs always giving them out in bunches! And honestly, I find it cheap!
Was I on PTO when the world agreed that weâd all just be chill about eating whole crickets in a piece of candy? Iâm so behind!
The whole point of some episodes is how hard it is to make caramelâthen youâll get an episode where Abdul makes shards of caramel flame, and theyâre just like, âwhatever, thatâs nice, I guessâ????
I am really done with Self-Proclaimer Sandro. My patience has run out. Oh, really, youâre a ârebel by natureâ?? How about just making the damn cake! Also, he and Janusz donât give two sh*ts about anyone else in that tent, and it shows.
Is it just me, or is there not a lot of chemistry between the bakers?? I miss last season when everyone was literally mad for each other and emotionally enmeshed in each otherâs lives to an unhealthy and glorious degree.
Anyways, Syabira finally got her Star Baker!!! We said goodbye to my least favorite person remaining! Overall, a great week!
OMG, just watched the trailer for the new season of The Crown, and OMG GET HERE ALREADY!!!!!!!!
LOL I do the exact same thing with Wikipedia summaries of horror movie plots, and I ainât ashamed of it.