"It's because you're worth it, isn't it babes?"

Bake Off, Beckham, and The Golden Bachelor

It’s Fall! 🍁🍂 Pumpkin Spice Season! Shifting Into Soup Mode Season! Getting-a-Sudden-Urge-to-Pick-Several-Bushels-of-Apples-and-Drink-Apple-Cider-Even-Though-Apple-Picking-isn’t-Actually-That-Fun-and-Apple-Cider-is-Just-Apple-Juice Season.

And you know what that means? The Great British Baking Show is back!

[Which I shall call simply ‘Bake Off’ for reasons of 1) convenience, 2) it’s what it’s called in Britain, and 3) it’s just a better name.]

Perhaps because I am married to a bona fide “sports boy,” our friend group decided to make a betting pool for both this season of Bake Off and The Golden Bachelor. In this post, I shall reflect upon our follies and invite you to join us along the way. As with Bake Off, there is no cash prize! But I’m taking ideas…

But first! What’s your personal “first rite of fall”? Like, when the air gets that crisp edge, or the shelves change at the grocery store, or something inexpressible happens that makes you feel in your bones, “It’s fall” — What’s that thing you immediately do?

Mine is usually roasting a pan of apples + sweet potatoes or impulse-buying anything from the Foodtown bakery section that says “pumpkin” on it.

Sports Corner - Beckham on Netflix

It appears I cannot get away from sports these days, so I’m officially calling this recurring sports section: “Sports for People Who Love People Who Love Sports.” Don’t take that idea; it’s going to be my podcast one day!

The entire internet just watched the Beckham documentary on Netflix, and I confess I have not finished it. My college roommate got married this weekend! I was busy! Ben and I have watched two of the four episodes.

For Ben, it’s like watching a behind-the-scenes deep dive into a thing he recalls living through—because we were, and this is just math, both alive in the late 1990s.

But for me, it’s a nail-biter! I have NO IDEA what happened in soccer OR the world at that time! I was in my “Woodland Fairies” era, if memory serves. I was aware of the Spice Girls, but I did not really pay attention to them because they were not, as aforementioned, woodland fairies.

Overall, I have two main takeaways:

1. This is clearly a publicity project on behalf of the Beckhams, and I am 100% okay with that! It’s like Ted Lasso but real life; The Jamie Tartt story, but actual world history! As you would expect from Ted Lasso, the stuff they’re glossing over could probably fill a much longer documentary. We’re hearing the story exactly how the Beckhams want it told. But again, I’m fine with that! [I am also fine with watching David Beckham in his Young Nick Carter Hair Era! Peak 90s hotness!]
   

2. I would be lying if I said I am not deeply inspired by David Beckham’s story of living through a *literal entire country hating him* and coming out the other side. I sat there in front of my TV screen—having mere days ago considered if life might not be worth it after I did a bad job parallel parking and people saw it—furiously taking mental and spiritual notes on how to not hang my entire sense of worth on what people think of me.

Incredible, incredible story of stick-to-it-ness. And I’m only halfway through!

@netflixthe banter in the #beckham house is brilliant 💅

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

One final rambling thought on Beckham: Even if you haven’t seen the doc, you may have seen the above video going around social media — of a tiny little bicker-banter between David and Victoria about whether she can call her childhood “working class.”

I don’t want to exaggerate, but…It’s a cinematic masterpiece?! The way she is so elegantly situated, portrait-ready. The way his head pokes in almost like he’s on the toilet but simply MUST assert a point. The way they each hit their comedic beat as I’m sure they planned and rehearsed. Because, I feel this is obvious: She is in on the joke. She knew he would ask, and she was ready to share. They have probably done this at cocktail parties for years.

And that, too, I could think about all day. It’s a perfectly practiced “marital tiff” that, like in so many of those TikTok couple acounts, makes perfect viral fodder but doesn’t actually reveal that much about them. Consider me impressed! We’ll get to this, but the contestants on The Golden Bachelor could take a page out of Posh Spice’s book!

Have you watched? What do you think?

Bracket #1: Bake Off

It’s been a hard few years, and so Mother Universe decided to show grace upon us and give us: Alison Hammond.

Hammond, the new host on Bake Off, gusted in like a fresh autumn breeze, setting everyone at ease and making even Paul Hollywood relaxed and joyful. Or is it my imagination? I mean, Paul literally hugged a contestant!? I didn’t know his arms even moved that way! I thought he was a Guy Fieri Ken Doll with no elbow joints!

Anyhoo! Alison Hammond, we thank you. [Also, never forget when she knocked that shirtless sailor into the Thames!]

Now to the Bake Off Betting Pool: Our group drew names because we all had the same favorites after Week 1, and we value our friendships. (Our favorites were some combination of Dan plus, alternately Saku, Josh, or Tasha).

Here are the names I drew:

• Nicky: The Scottish lady with the beaver. [I’m so sorry, I did not write the script!] Week 2 revealed her dogs’ names are Haggis and Bracken, which sounds like the dog names an American romance novelist would choose for the kooky British grandma who lives down the lane from the summer cottage where our two main characters will eventually consummate their tempestuous relationship. “Haggis! Bracken!” she will call one morning as our lovebirds stifle giggles in their new lovebed. But I digress….

• Cristy: The hot mom with the limoncello cake!

• Rowan: The cute little nerd boy who made himself a wedding cake for his 21st birthday, prompting Alison Hammond to say: “It’s because you’re worth it, isn’t it, babes!” You ARE worth it, Rowan!!!

Let’s do some Sports Math here:

• The betting odds are on rugby/baking-wunderkind Josh to win it all, followed by Abbi, Saku, and—shockingly—Nicky! Haggis and Bracken’s mom!

• Dan was our favorite after the first episode, but coming out hot in episode 1 isn’t always a good sign. In 13 seasons, the Star Baker of the first episode has won the final only twice. That’s a 15% likelihood if my SAT math still holds.

Who are your picks?

Bracket #2: The Golden Bachelor

This show is an absolutely horrendous time for me.

I know that in spirit, The Golden Bachelor is supposed to be uniformly positive about aging, about the possibility of love in our sunset years, about the beautiful reality that loss can also be a new beginning — that growing older can be full of promise.

But, I’m sorry, all I can think while I watch is:

“They’re old enough to know better!?!?!”

Am I the only person whose hope for the aging process is that I would no longer act like a twenty-year-old?? My hope for myself was to gracefully become the mom in Parent Trap, not get stuck forever as Meredith Blake. May I conduct my life in such a way that I am not begging a man to pay attention to me when I am 70!

To be fair, the promise of the show is less “You can find true love at 70” and more “You can get famous on TV at whatever age if you’re willing to do whatever it takes!”

Anyhoo, Ben’s pick is Edith because her beauty took his breath away, and I picked Nancy because she didn’t embarrass me.

Who’s your pick?

That’s all for this week! Thank you so so much for choosing to click this email and take a read! I love sharing with whoever will listen — and I would love to hear your thoughts, opinions, recommendations, and stories, too. 💜

---

A postscript: I wrote most of the above last week, then spent the weekend celebrating my college roommate’s wedding (yay!), and then resurfaced yesterday to see all the terrifying news from Gaza. I just want to acknowledge how heavy and horrific it is, and I hope that this Substack is a place of respite that feels appropriate and not insensitive or grating. I barely know where to get started or how to help; one group I’m familiar with that has been working on peace in Israel/Palestine for years is The Telos Group. 💜 It’s a very different kind of heaviness, but I’m also praying this week for my mom, who is supposed to check into the hospital tomorrow for her transplant, after yet another setback. The world is too much sometimes, friends. I do believe that spaces of lightness and sharing are still—maybe even more—needed. I hope this can be that for you this week. It is for me.